Deb Hawken - Dancing Star

Your Right to Grief

2012-02-07T10:23:00.000-08:00

As you may imagine, as a working Medium I spend a fair amount of my time helping people to come to terms with grief. Part of that work is obviously seeking to bring through their loved one, friend or pet from the Spirit World, but the other part is purely practical - helping them to cope with their feelings.

Having lost a few people (to put it mildly) and a few pets myself I know how weird grief is, and that there are no rules. Losing my grandfather felt nothing like losing my grandmother 30 years later, and nothing like losing my father 12 years after that. All four of my cats left behind a completely unique experience of missing them, and every other pet and person I've lost has been mourned in their own individual way.

This is why people telling other people how to grieve, what to do, what do say, how to behave and when to be 'over it' and 'getting on with life' annoys the heck out of me. I hate it.

Like all the major events of life humans are not trained to deal with grief and no one has a clue how their grief will hit them, what feelings and emotions it will raise, and how they will react at any given second. People think they're doing well and getting over it, then a small thing happens and they're bounced right back to the hurting part of the programme again.

The worst problems occur when the families and friends of a lost loved one get together, because far from drawing people together grief can create barriers that feel insurmountable, particular because there can be a lot of anger around death.

One of the things I wish never to hear said but is said only too often is "it's worse for me because..." or "it's worse for them because...". If someone loses their life partner then of course that someone is experiencing something unique to them, but that doesn't invalidate anyone else's grief or their reaction to that grief.

Sometimes partners who have shared a lifetime of love cope better than friends who have relied on having that person in their life, because the lifetime of love carries that partner through whereas the friend has lost a special and valued confident. It doesn't mean that person a) is hurting more or less than person b), or that they have a right to hurt more or less. There is no sliding scale of grief.

All it means is that individuals mourn individuals in individual ways. Repetition is deliberate!

So if you're going through grief and finding that people are telling you what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to behave and when to be 'over it'. Just gently tell those people that you are way outside your comfort zone and knowledge base and are coping as best you can.

If you find things too difficult then it may be necessary to put some distance between you and them for a while, but don't whatever you do react with anger and finality. Just make yourself unavailable in person, keep in touch by phone, and make excuses to get off the line quickly if the going gets tough.

There are so many different and competing emotions around it's better not to react for at least a year if you can possibly avoid it. Don't lose the people you love and care about just because you can't cope with the way they're grieving.

I hope this helps a bit.

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and years before you need this advice.

Deb xx

The Dishwasher, The Cat and the Cottage Pie

2012-01-10T17:30:00.000-08:00

This is actually a serious post, but I wanted to add in the amusing part to improve the tone of it.

Those who know me well will know that I very rarely post a negative or sad story because whenever possible I prefer to be an upbeat and positive person in the lives of my family, friends and acquaintances. However, I believe that unpleasant as it is this story needs to be told. Fortunately it will be rescued at the end by a cat.

On Sunday evening I was mentally swishing across the ice with the latest stars of Dancing on Ice when something called me to go out into the hall. As I approached the front door I realised that there were reflections of blue flashing lights everywhere.

As you know this is never a good sign so I opened the front door with some trepidation, only to find that there were 3 fire engines outside my next door neighbours' house and n the drive was a distinctly melted dishwasher.

We went straight out and asked the fire personnel if there was anything that our neighbours required or anything we could do, and they assured us they'd pass on the message. We asked what happened and this is what they told us.

The circuit board on the dishwasher had malfunctioned and caused what could have been a very serious fire. Fortunately our neighbours were indoors at the time and had managed to evacuate the house and call the fire brigade before too much damage had been done. The fireman told us that dishwasher fires are one of their more frequent call outs. I asked if they had seen my neighbour's cat who normally naps in that garage but they said no.

The next day I visited my neighbour to check that all was well. She told me the whole story.

She had been about to dish up their evening meal when she realised that she was short of a plate, so she went out to the dishwasher and took out a plate to wash. Having done so, which as you can imagine took mere moments, she realised that she was also short of a fork and asked her husband to fetch one from the dishwasher. He went out to the garage to do so and called back in immediately that there were flames coming from the dishwasher and she should call the fire brigade and get the children and animals out of the house.

She did so, the fire brigade turned up and extinguished the fire, and all that remained was to find the cat. As you may imagine the family were fairly frantic that he couldn't be found and most concerned that he had run away in fear.

However, it didn't take long to find him. There he was, sitting in the bowl eating the final few mouthfulls of their supper, whiskers dripping with beef and potato. For a normally nervous cat he had sat solidly in their supper dish and applied himself to eating their food with great courage and gusto. Even flames, smoke and 15 fire personnel hadn't persuaded him to leave a burning building.

Fortunately all was well, everyone is ok and the cat didn't pop -well he had eaten the supper of 2 grown adults, two growing teenagers (and you know how much they eat) and a child.

The reason for telling you this story is to pass on the information given to us - never run an electrical appliance such as a dishwasher or washing machine overnight or whilst you're out.

I'm sorry to tell such a disturbing story and I certainly don't want anyone feeling worried, especially as it is so easy to remain safe by being in when these things are working and turning them off when you're out of the house.

I hope you enjoyed the cat part though. One last giggle. Our wonderful neighbours have rallied around providing crockery and such like as required, what did we provide? A spare cat collar because their old one was broken and they need to label their cat as he's one of three extremely similar cats within one small area. You can't get more neighbourly than that!

Deb

Out With the Old...In With the New!

2012-01-05T09:42:00.000-08:00

Woo hoo it's new year! That means that all the angst and irritations of 2011 are gone and we can all leap into the perfect year, because at the stroke of midnight on 31st December 2011 everything changed...didn't it?

Of course it didn't.

Firstly the person who creates your life is you, so unless you went through some kind of sudden and dramatic metamorphosis on the last bong of Big Ben it is likely that things will continue pretty much as they always have. True, you might get a new job this year, buy a puppy or kitten, move house, give the kids away, or whatever you have planned. However, your life will only change fundamentally if the person you are inside changes.

That's easy then, all sorted and we can get on with 2012. Hold on! Wait a moment!

Let's look at this a little more carefully. Before you rush headlong into change for changes sake, has it occurred to you that you might just be fine as you are? You need to look at that first.

If you decide that actually you are doing pretty all right as a person and your internal world is a fairly happy approaching joyful place then you don't need to undergo a huge personal change in order to have a great 2012. What you do need to do is to take note of the situations in which you find yourself (romance, work, hobbies, fitness, etcetera) and make sure that you're happy in all those places.

We tend to blame ourselves when we aren't happy and feel that in some way we must be wanting because we're not having a blast. Yet sometimes the only problem is that we're in the wrong place doing the wrong thing.

You won't blend with colleagues if you aren't in the right job, company or career. You won't be in a happy relationship if you or they are Miss-ter wrong. You won't have great friends if you insist on spending time with people who are so un-you that you all appear to come from different dimensions! You won't love your home if you don't love where you live or you don't decorate and de-clutter to suit you. You may struggle to feel healthy if you don't make time to keep fit and insist on remaining in stressful situations. I could go on but you get the picture.

The point is that even if some or all of these things are wrong it doesn't mean that YOU are wrong, it only means that you're doing the wrong things.

One key pointer towards sorting these things out is to watch for the signals because there will be signs and portents that show you what isn't working if you know what to look for.

Take me for instance. I love Mediumship, to me it's second only to the people and animals I love. It floats my boat, fills me with joy, gives me peace and a feeling of amazing health. It's the cherry on the icing on the cake of my life. Yet when I launched myself on the world as a full-time working Medium nothing went well.

I was invited back to demonstrate at different places, I did get a lot of referrals for readings, but nothing would quite click with me, but Cricket St. Thomas Hotel has to be the best message of all.

I was working there as a Resident Medium and nearly every day I was there I was rushed off my feet, lunch was a distant dream and I was normally at least an hour late home. I had people coming to find me because their friends had a reading on their last visit and I'd been highly recommended. I was so happy. I was busy, busy, busy doing the work I loved, meeting fantastic new people, getting referrals for telephone readings from all over the country, working in a 4 star hotel where coffee and cake was always on hand, and having a thoroughly amazing time. Then it all stopped.

The hotel group decided to change the way they presented the entertainments brochure to their clients and instead of having an A5 sized insert in the brochure I was moved onto the back page and had only 4 lines. You might think that it was logical that this would affect things, but to be honest the heading on the section was very clear, if people are going to read a brochure they will look at the back page and there was a great deal more on there than me to draw them to the page. The brochure had always been full of exciting and interesting things for the guests to do, and no matter how large your advert if people aren't interested they aren't interested.

However, my work went from flat out to zero inside 24 hours and never picked up again. It was so weird. So after a few weeks I sadly packed up my little room, said goodbye to the staff I'd worked with, and exited stage left with my spotted hanky tied to the end of a stick. Boy was I miffed!!!! (Deliberate use of 4 exclamation marks there!!!!)

I had lost my work completely. I was sad for months and although I tried other things I lacked the motivation and interest to bring them in. By October of 2011 I was basically sitting on my thumb all day discovering that demotivated people don't write well, and wondering what the heck to do next.

Then Nicky Marshall uttered the immortal words "we haven't done much this year, we need to do something." I replied with a joke "Okay, let's pencil 'do something' into our diary in January next year" and to cut a long story short the "Do Something! Tour" was born. Then something very strange happened.

Within weeks we had 5 events set up, we launched in November at the Witches Brew, were in Thornbury at the beginning of December, and by that time we had 2 events set up in Covent Garden, London for next year, plus a charity event and a speaking engagement for another organisation. Not only that a major department store had talked to Nicky about presenting an event for their staff. Absolutely amazing!

This of course means that I'm/we're in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. It didn't happen at New Year or in line with any man-made date. It didn't happen because we needed to change. It happened because the time was right.

So whilst you're embracing resolutions you may have already forgotten or regretted, and thinking that the New Year means you MUST make a new start. Whilst you're worrying that it sounded great to say you'd job hunt the moment the clock clicked over to 00.01 on 1st January and now it doesn't feel like such a good idea, or you're fretting that you may not actually want to break up your relationship, move house, and become a struggling artist. Stop, breathe and relax. You don't have to do anything or everything at once, and you should avoid the trap of thinking that huge change is required when maybe smaller changes would have a better long-term effect. AND you don't have to throw out the old without first considering how much the old is still serving a useful purpose.

New Year can be a fantastic time to create change and a wonderful time to think about refreshing your life, but it can also be a pressure and a trap. You don't have to take leaps of faith without a clue what you're doing just because you said it on New Year's Eve during a drunken party. You have the whole of 2012 to move forward carefully in a considered manner, making one change at a time. Every day is a New Year if you play your cards right.

So my advice is to put the New Year's resolution on the back burner, do a life review, create a vision board in February, and once you've got your head clear as to what you want then go for it!

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights and positive change at the right pace and right time

Deb

Festive Greetings, Thanks, and A Look Back in Joy at 2011

2011-12-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

Firstly I'd like to thank everyone who has read and/or supports this blog and my work for their support during 2011. When you work alone knowing that people are enjoying what you do and finding it useful is very special and I appreciate the support.

Secondly, obviously, I'd like to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy All Year for 2012. I hope that those not of the Christian persuasion will enjoy the break with their families and loved ones, I find it rather nice to think of other people sharing our traditional holiday and it giving them time with family.

Lastly, let's look back at 2011. Has it been a perfect year? No. Has it been a great year? Yes. I've decided that this year I will only remember the highlights and let the petty irritations take care of themselves. It's a much nicer way to remember a year and it brings only the positive forward with me.

My real-life highlight this year will always be learning to enjoy flying and visiting Sweden, Ireland and America, I have Pierre Hasslebrandt to thank for Sweden and The Six Sense Academy to thank for Ireland. I will never forget that. I have Nicky Marshall to thank for Sedona, and I'll never forget that either. Hopefully next year I will bring in something as wonderful for her.

Travelling really added to my Spiritual development, and it also showed me that people can believe that they all speak the English language but that don't. I learnt through travel that it is possible to string together a meaningful sentence without understanding the meaning. I also learnt in Sweden how many colloquialisms we use and how people might think you're over there working in your own language but actually you're frantically editing every word you say to bring it into proper English. I do not speak 'proper' English LOL. I also learnt that I love the Swedish people and I'm really excited that some of them are coming to work with me in Glastonbury in 2012.

In Ireland I met some of the warmest, kindest, most supportive people I've ever met. I don't think I've ever experienced such a welcome. I also made friends with the wonderful Chrissie Astell and feel like I have a sister for life even though we don't get to talk as much as we would like to. She's a very busy Angel lady.

In both countries I loved working with people so open minded and willing to try whatever you asked them to with a light heart and total enthusiasm. Two races of magical people.

In Sedona with Nicky I learnt what "Wow!" means in regard to scenery. I always think of Britain as stunning (and always will) but Sedona was so unusual there are few words for it. Again I discovered that English and English are not the same language, and again I found a race of warm, caring people and fantastic pancakes!

I experience earth energy vortices for the first time, loved two and was totally and literally knocked backwards by two. Nicky was also inspired to attune me to Reiki III on 11/1111 by the side of the creek at the Cathedral Rock Vortex. It was a spur of the moment decision that just felt right, and I did miss the other girls I did Reiki I and II with, but it was special.

We had a great time in Sedona shopping for the shop and gifts for our loved ones, we also had some quite Spiritual experiences that were personal and special to us. We ate well, saw amazing wildlife, spoke to Native Americans, walked for miles, climbed rocks, laid flat on our back on buttes inside a medicine wheel (well one of us did, the other one maintained a modicum of decorum). We laughed, we giggled, we discovered that one of us is quite capable of an in-depth conversation at 6 am and is therefore slightly better suited to the other one's husband, in fact that goes both ways LOL.

Moreover, I learnt that I could spend a week with Nicky in complete comfort, knowing that my humanity would be accepted and handled with grace and charm. You can't say that about a lot of people.

Spiritually this year has been amazing for me and I really feel that I've changed a great deal. I've let things go that I should have released a long time ago. I don't need to become so involved in everything as I used to. I find it easier to stand back. I worry less (yes I tremble when I write that because a born worrier doesn't let go of their worrying easily LOL). I enjoy life more.

As far as the work goes I've put my Mediumship on the back burner and set up the Do Something! Tour with Nicky Marshall, we're both completely bowled over by the success already and really looking forward to a busy year next year. Even more amazingly my lovely friend, and now Nicky's friend, Barrie John has chosen to be part of the Tour. We're both thrilled. We've spoken to a few people about the Tour but no one has 'got' the concept in the way Barrie did, our beliefs are also close to his heart and he has bought so much with him in the way of enthusiasm and inspiration.

Fitness wise I've done more, and I intend to do even more next year. Every time I lapse in my fitness I realise how much better I feel with a carefully planned fitness programme - there is nothing 'fit' about overdoing it!

The thing I find the most amazing though is how many times I've used words such as amazing and wonderful through this blog. What a joy it is to be able to do so.

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, a wonderful festive season and someone to kiss under the Mistletoe. (Off to buy Mistletoe)

Deb xx

The "Do Something Tour" Conundrum

2011-12-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

On Thursday 8th December at 7.00 pm we have our first ever Do Something! Tour evening in Thornbury, Gloucestershire. As always people want to know what the Do Something! Tour is about, and that answer is quite easy. The Tour is about encouraging people to change their lives by changing the way they think. What isn't so easy is telling you what each event will be about, we just can't do that because you're all different.

There are lists of famous people who have believed in the concept of your thoughts being the one and only thing that create your reality. Sir Winston Churchill, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michaelangelo; to name but a few. If you read the book "The Secret" or buy the DVD you will see many, many names you will recognise who all have two things in common - they believed in the power of their own minds and they were hugely successful.

My personal favourite is the Emperor Marcus Aurelius (1st Century AD) "Your life is what your thoughts make it", and he should know because he was a Roman soldier who became Emperor.

If we accept that these successful people are correct and our lives can be significantly influenced by our thoughts, then it becomes extremely important to take our thoughts into consideration when we're working to change our lives.

Think for a moment. How many people have you known who have made big changes in their lives and somehow landed back in a very similar position, if not almost exactly the same. "How did she/he fall for someone so similar?" you will have asked. Or "you can't POSSIBLY be as miserable in this job?" Shall I go on?

This happens when you don't change your approach to life, when you don't change your beliefs, and when you don't embrace every possibility that's hidden within your unique and complex personality. It's more often than not caused by believing what other people have said about you in the past, not just your parents but everyone you've ever come across. Most annoyingly you will probably have accepted limitations placed on you that were never your beliefs in the first place, and all this happened when you were too young to sift the information, give it due consideration, and then consign it to the Recycle Bin of life.

This is exactly what Nicky and I are out there trying to change - the thoughts you're thinking that are creating your current reality. You see, we don't believe in the limitations of the past. We don't believe that anyone can tell you who or what you are. We even view our weaknesses as strengths because we identify them and then try to put them to good use.

We DO believe that every person we meet is full of untapped potential, not just to create a happy, vibrant, wealthy and peaceful life, but to live the life of their dreams with no limits.

Most importantly we believe that all change can be achieved gently, that there is no need for vast upheaval and truckloads of anger. You won't need to quit your job, sell your children, file for divorce, disown your parents, or dress in pink and live in a Yurt. You can make huge changes in your life, gently, kindly, and at your own pace.

We also KNOW something very important, everyone has intuition and no one should ignore it. Many people we meet would agree, but they have no idea how intuitive they are, how accurate they are, or how to tap into that potential. Nor have they ever explored their inner truth without being afraid that the world will stop and everyone will fall off if they dare to mention their dreams in public.

Imagine if Martin Luther King had never mentioned his dream? Where would India be today if Gandhi had said "who me?", it might have taken years of bloodshed rather than (mainly) non-violent resistance to gain independence for India. As part of our work we encourage you to access and trust your own intuition, and recognise your inner truth, then work towards it at your own pace and in your own way.

These are some of the things we are trying to achieve with the "Do Something Tour". We've only done one event so far but we are told that at least three lives have changed because of it. (Those people are our heroes.)

So what will happen if you come to Thornbury on Thursday, or Zion in Bedminster Down in January, or Covent Garden in March? The truth is we don't know.

We know that there will be talking and questions and inspiration, because we have an enormous portfolio of ideas, exercises, meditations, thoughts, stories and giggles, all of it in our heads, and only useful if we can do the one unique thing that makes us...us. Tune into the room and intuit what is needed on that night.

You see, you are all individuals and each person has specific needs, whether or not they're aware of those needs. Not everything we say will mean something to you personally, but something will strike a note somewhere in your mind and be stored for future reference. Not only that, one of your family or friends might be in trouble at sometime in the future and you'll find that your mind will run a search pattern and up from somewhere will pop something really useful. You might not even remember where you heard it, but that doesn't matter as long as it helps at the time.

So come along and join us for an evening of fun and inspiration, stories and giggles, and yes it's true - we are the ones who bring chocolate with us (and non chocolate items for those who don't eat chocolate).

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights and bucket loads of useful inspiration

Deb

The Do Something! Tour

2011-11-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

You may have seen our new Facebook page and/or heard mutterings about the Do Something! Tour, I thought some of you might like to know what it's about.

It started as a joke. Even though Nicky has firmly established and improved her lovely, welcoming coffee shop The Witches Brew (Woman In Total Charge of Herself) in Bristol and I have conquered my fear of flying and taught in Sweden and Ireland this year, both of us were champing at the bit and feeling that we hadn't done enough. There was something that needed to be done and we weren't sure exactly what.

I'm sure many readers know what I'm saying.

We started off joking around trying to cheer each other up in a conversation that went something like:

"I'm fed up I haven't achieved much this year"
(Pause for nice comments about wonderful coffee shop)
"We should do something Deb"
"Ok, I have an idea, let's pencil 'Do Something'" into our diaries for next year.
(Pause for two Guides to pull disapproving faces)

Then it occurred to one of us, why don't we go out on the road and just Do Something! We're always trying to encourage people to get out there and try something, anything, if they want to change their lives. Why didn't we do just that.

So we asked the lovely Louise from Limepark Studios to design us a logo and set up our first event.

As always we tuned into the room when the audience arrived and then started talking, we work together organically very well and whilst one is talking the other one will be picking out important points and noting them on a flip chart, then taking those points forward.

We had a great evening and I can honestly say that it was wonderful to just be 'doing something'. We also realised that in standing on a stage, tuning into the audience and working with them we were really walking out talk. This tour will grow, change, develop and improve every time we set foot in a hall or on a stage, and we have no idea what the end result will be. We are literally just Doing Something! and our audience can see that.

We don't stand up there as world experts on being happy, we stand up there as two people who have learned a lot through our formative years in the Spiritual field, and through our work in the last 17 years or so, and we want to share that with anyone who might need help, inspiration, or just someone who knows how they feel.

It's a wonderful privilege and opportunity, but have I told you exactly what Do Something! is all about? Of course not, because it will be different every time you see us.

Please feel free to share this blog, we appreciate all the help and support we can get at the moment, and we are being blessed with so much support we KNOW this is right.

Our next events are in Thornbury in Bristol, then two more in the Bristol area and Covent Garden in London, and we haven't started planning let.

We're on the wonderful UKPN Radio on Sunday, which should be a riot if the guys are in their usual top form. See our Facebook Page for details. http://www.facebook.com/DebAndNickysDoSomethingTour

It's very exciting and two months ago we couldn't have imagined this, which is why Do Something! is a good idea in every sense of the world.

Look forward to meeting you one day.

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and the inspiration to change your lives

Deb xx

Sedona - Back Home

2011-11-20T08:59:00.000-08:00

Well I'm back here in the UK after an annoying flight from Phoenix. I'm sorry BA, I want to support my home airline but I'm afraid your economy seats are a joke. Nicky and I are normal sized adults and we couldn't find anywhere to put our arms during the flight, nor could we stretch out our legs. I came home cramped up and tired.

That, however, was the only downside to the trip.

What I have found interesting though is the reactions around me to my reaction to Sedona and the holiday. It's as if people expected more for me from the trip than they think I've got, as if they sent me off with expectations that I didn't have.

For me any life changing experience happens gradually and the effects are normally noted quite a while after the experience that generated them.

I also found it odd that when I said that the UK is just as nice as my admittedly small experience of America, the Americans said 'great' and the British thought I was nuts. Which shows you what a downer many people have on what is a truly magnificent country with similar problems to most developed countries in the world.

I understand from Nicky that, like the UK, each area is different. In Sedona I found that the food didn't appear in buckets, meal sizes were normal. They don't seem to eat vegetables in the same way we do and I had to have a Mexican meal and send 2/3rds of it back to get any real vegetables during the trip. The Airport Mesa was, for me, the best restaurant we went to and I understand why Nicky raved about it on her first trip.

I enjoyed the scenery in Sedona, your first sight gives you the kind of 'wow' moment that you never forget. The shopping was interesting as there was a lot of Native American produce, but the shops were as repetitive as anything in the UK, with a few exceptions.

The vortices were incredible but if you're not into earth energy they do take some getting used to...they WILL ground you LOL.

The shape of the rocks are fascinating and you can give them your own names if you can't remember the real ones, Nicky called oen the pregnant lady and I also named a rock but it's best not mentioned here, although it was close to Nicky's expectant mum!

A few people have mentioned that they expected me to be more changed, which is odd when you consider I've done a lot of work on myself over the years and I would hope that changes would at long last be more subtle than they were.

So what's this blog about? It's about not allowing the expectations of others to weigh you down and not feeling that you've failed because other people expected more. It's also about allowing yourself to absorb your changes in your own good time, and not feeling bad if a treatment, a therapy or an experience fails to change you. It just wasn't your experience and you didn't let the 'provider' down by not being changed.

Did I change in Sedona? Oh yes. I've done Reiki III now which was wonderful. I learned to sit on a rock and just relax. I realised that we don't have to have major earth-shifting changes at times that other people have designated 'times to change dramatically' and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you're enjoying the here and now.

I've come home with clarity in my mind that will solve two of my major issues in life, which gives me a real feeling that I'm moving forward and will no longer be stuck in the same rut I've been in for over 4 years. I also understand that I can do the same thing I've been trying to do for all that time in a completely different way, something I may not have seen if I hadn't gone over 8000 miles from home.

I found that in a positive place I noticed negativity far more, especially on facebook, and it was negativity that other people might not even realise was negative. This led to a far deeper lesson about people being who they need to be. We all understand that at a top level but there is a deeper issue going on that needs addressing and I'm working with this in my book and through the Do Something! Tour with Nicky.

More about that later...

It was such a valuable experience going there and I will look back on it always with great affection, after all, I had a holiday!!!! As Mike Dooley would say...

Woo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo! Sound of cheers and clapping!

And thanks to Nicky for suggesting I went, Tony for caring for the cats so I didn't worry (even taking into consideration the mangled toy and missing 8" of elastic!) and Jayne for trying to maintain some kind of order even if the milk got donated to the hall we use for my meetings!

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, recognition of who you are, and change at your own pace

Deb

Sedona Three

2011-11-14T20:40:00.000-08:00

Well the week has gone like greased lightening and it's really difficult to take the whole experience in.

Sedona is an amazing town surrounded by sparkling red, black and cream rocks. The first few days were brilliantly sunny and absolutely freezing, then we had two pleasantly warm days followed by a day of rain. What stunned me was walking out of our hotel to see nothing but mist but knowing that out there somewhere were huge rocks that had completely disappeared. The romantic in me imagined that they had gone walkabout while they had the opportunity.

We visited all four vortices in the area: Boynton Canyon, Bell Rock, Cathedral Rock and the hyper popular Airport Rock.

I found Boynton Canyon to be a very gentle experience, Bell Rock knocked me over backwards and I wasn't happy there (in fact I still shudder thinking about it), the one I really wanted to visit (Airport Rock) had a similar effect although I did stand where James Redfield (The Celestine Author) stood and saw the view described in his latest book, but I didn't calm down until we drove away. The best for me was Cathedral Rock - which we visited twice.

We first visited on 11/11/11 and sat quietly and meditated at 11:11, then we went for a walk and picked a spot for my Reiki 3 Attunement. So I was attuned sitting on a rock next to Oak Creek at Cathedral Rock on 11/11/11. It was an awesome experience and just as Nicky was attuning me a round of cheering and applause broke out. If you follow Mike Dooley of www.tut.com he would tell you that applause, cheering and "woohooing" should always accompany a really special event and is a necessary celebration to accept and acknowledge abundance - so I had my applause, cheering and woohooing!

We visited Cathedral Rock again today from the other side. Staring with a hilarious drive along a road that turned into a trail with regular signs saying "do not enter if flooded". When we got to the end of the trail we were miles from the rock. So we drove back up the I179 to the Back O Beyond and turned there. Although there was no signpost to the rock we guessed from our map that this road might actually lead to Cathedral Rock (not because we're women and can't read a map but because there were extra roundabouts on the map with non-existent roads leading from them).

The rock was at the end of that road and we climbed up to Courthouse Butte at the bottom of the rock, and then a little way up the rock. We were considering going to the top (big lie) but we didn't have crampons and grappling hooks nor were we feeling particularly insane. However, the next time we visit Sedona Tony is coming with us and he has two no-longer slim women to drag up to the places we couldn't get without a burly hairy-chested body builder on hand (guess who's getting a gym membership for Christmas!).

We stopped and did a quick meditation before skidding back down in a slightly frantic way, avoiding the mountain bikers wherever possible. Actually, Nicky laid flat on her back on a freezing cold rock in the middle of a medicine wheel that someone had built, but I showed admirable common-sense and care for my clothing by remaining upright and in control at all times.

During this trip we've seen ravens (one of which struck up a considerable conversation with Nicky this morning), bluebirds, rabbits, chipmunks, buzzards, eagles (well one of us did and it wasn't me), and birds we don't recognise. My first exciting sighting was of a sparrow. I travel 8000 miles and the first bird I see I could have seen in my back garden (being chased by a cat!).

We've shopped Sedona until Nicky dropped (I have far more shopping experience), and we've met Native Americans and seen the amazing and beautiful products they make. We've seen scenery so beautiful it will live in our hearts forever and defy description, and we've shared an experience that I couldn't put into words. When Nicky first visited Sedona she came back and failed to describe it, just shaking her head and saying "I can't tell you". Nor can I, you have to come here yourself.

We've eaten moderately (huh!), had minimal ice cream (fairly true), very little chocolate (actually true), imbibed almost no alcohol (amazingly true but then I'm a very good influence), made a few connections over here who will try to help us set up a course in Sedona, and climbed a mountain of pancakes.

Nicky has driven on the wrong side of the road which is the right thing to do, without confusion providing I remembered to say 'turn left right' or 'turn right left' in the right order. She's had almost no telephone calls this week which is very rare, and I've been inundated which is also rare but s*d's law as they say.

This is my first trip to the USA and I'm extremely impressed by the scale and grandeur of what I saw, however, the UK press often seem to find Britain wanting when compared to other countries and I'm happy to say that's unfair. Our food isn't as plentiful as in America but it's good, it's varied and we eat vegetables! Our shopping is just as good, our people are just as nice, our roads don't match up but at least we drive on the right side (LOL).

All in all I'm proud of my own country and completely in love with America and the American people, and that's just perfect.

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and the ability to come to America - particularly Sedona - as soon as possible (if you want to)

Deb xx

Sedona Two

2011-11-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

Well I'm back again, posting into the ether hoping that someone somewhere is reading this.

The trip is going very well. Yesterday we went to the Grand Canyon with a bus driver called Devon. He commented that he understood he was named after a place in the UK, but all I could think of was Cream Teas. It took Nicky to sort that one out! It was 7.30 am though.

After a 3 hour trip up through Flagstaff and across to the Grand Canyon National Park, we were deposited at the rim of the Grand Canyon. Now we all know it's big, we've seen the photos on TV and it certainly looks big, but for those of you who haven't been there let me share a further insight - it is BIG. Big on a grand scale, so big you can't take it in with your mind and your eyes.

It's also high, I know this because Nicky and I climbed over the walls to have a little peeky-poo downwards, we did peek and quite frankly we nearly...well we got back over the wall pretty sharpish.

After we'd been driven miles around the canyon, stopping at various vantage points, Devon took us onto the Navaho land which stretches for miles across the Arizona Desert. It's amazingly unspoilt and gives you the chance to see what this beautiful country must have looked like centuries ago, although apparently one of his clients once commented that it was a pity the Navaho didn't do more with their land.

He also told us that the Hopi people believe that they entered this world through a portal at the mouth of the Little Colorado River, which is the starting point for 220 miles of 10 mile wide Canyon.

We then stopped at a Navaho trading post where most of us did serious financial damage to our bank accounts.

Throughout the day we were stalked by a raven, saw several rainbow prisms in the sky, and Nicky saw an Eagle sitting in a tree. Because she was the a) the only person who saw this eagle and b) told us, if you want her you will find her walking at the side of the highway. Only kidding, she had the chocolate in her bag.

There's loads more to tell. Tomorrow, being tuned to Reiki 3 at the vortex at Cathedral Rock in Sedona.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Letter from Sedona

2011-11-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone

This is more of a personal blog for the next few days to keep my friends up-to-date with my antics but also, having felt the Spirituality of Sedona, to update you on the amazing learning I'm sure will be happening whilst Nicky and I are over here.

So, we started off crammed into BA's cattle class for 11 straight hours in a seat barely big enough for a small person with no legroom. However, the flight attendants were amazing, the service was superb, and I want one of those sleep pod/reclining chair things next time I do long haul!

We arrived at Sky Ranch Lodge last night after 24 hours with no or very little sleep, having had the most amazing night time tour of Sedona on the way from Phoenix airport. What should have taken 2 hours took over 3 but we met some lovely people and now know that we need much, much more time here if we're really to get the full experience.

Today we're having breakfast at the airport - which is amazing apparently - then we're going to find out about a hire car and then get ourselves into town and have a mooch. We don't want to do too much because tomorrow is the Grand Canyon!

On a Spiritual note I'm being a typical Gemini at the moment, on the one hand I've left the house in good hands and everything is being well looked after, the cats have company etc., but I want to come home now!

On the other hand I'll be off for the quickest shower in recorded history shortly (cleanliness may be next to Godliness but it doesn't have to take all day!), glam myself up and then I'm off to party round Sedona and the amazing red rocks - those guys are BIG! I want a coffee at the coffee pot restaurant which used to be owned by Jayne Russell the Hollywood starlet. Then we have an amazing amount of checking out the MBS and artists' places in Sedona and keeping the US Mail in business by sending home a few dozen parcels. Thus turning up on our doorsteps in far too few days time smiling innocently saying "I barely bought a THING and they must have misrouted Deb/Nicky's parcels to our house...but we might as well keep them!"

Seriously, we don't want to overdo it today but there will be videos for you all around the area and there will be much walking in this amazing...outdoors. I don't think it's called the outback or bush over here, and you definitely can't call it countryside. It's far too grand and definitely doesn't have the gentle rolling hills of England. Pictures will be appearing on my page tomorrow.

Take care all

Send thoughts to Tony, the cats are sulking at him!

Lots of love

Deb xx

Blogging

2011-10-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

It's a long time since I've blogged. To be honest I've been going through a bit of a dry spell writing-wise and haven't felt that I've had much to say.

It's been worrying me of course, not only am I a writer but I'm also quite chatty - a handy talent for an inspirational speaker and writer of course - but I just haven't felt like chatting.

I've been avoiding the phone, keeping my social networking to a minimum, and basically spending time with friends and resting.

I was wondering what was wrong, but today I had another of my energetic breakthrough points and I realised that nothing has been wrong. I've merely been in a phase of changing energy and further learning.

I feel better for it. I'm sleeping better. I'm more relaxed.

So the moral of this very short story is that nothing has been wrong, sometimes we just need to shut up in order to hear.

In other words, if you're struggling to hear your Guides or to know what the next step in your path should be, allow yourself to go quiet, spend time with friends, get some sleep and your over-tired mind will have the time, space and peace to hear.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

The Person That Time Forgot

2011-08-08T04:50:00.000-07:00

Dear All

A happy Monday to you.

I've been struggling with something for some time that comes up over and over again not just in the Spiritual field but in all aspects of life and that is - where do you put your loyalties.

Now when it comes to family and friends that is, or should be, obvious. When it comes to work it isn't so obvious and particularly if you work for yourself but with friends.

I've been struggling with this for a long time because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I came into this life with a mission that has been making itself gradually more clear as I move through life. The only way I can describe it is that this mission is sacred to me, and my mission statement is simple:

I want to help people to feel better and be happier

(and maybe have a tiny shot at world peace!)

There are lots of side issues around that but that's what it all boils down to. I have to work out how I can reach as many people as possible in order to do what I can, however much or little that may be.

I have found though, especially in the Spiritual field, that there are extremely high expectations that every Spiritual worker will be a vision of perfection who never contravenes one single rule laid down by someone else.

The problem is that there are a million individual someones who all have different rules based on their own individual needs and desires, and if you genuinely wouldn't hurt a soul (as I wouldn't), and you genuinely love people especially your friends (as I do) trying to balance all those needs and desires can give you a very real headache. It can also compromise your work.

As many of those who know me will be aware I have a Spirit Guide called Amos. He is real to me. He is also the most wonderfully loving, wise and humble being I have ever met (actually all my Guides past and present are like him but he's the boss). Working with him blows my mind every single day and leaves me sitting there saying "what on earth did I ever do to deserve his/their help and support" at least three times a week.

Today I was working through this problem with my husband and sounding board (lucky man) when suddenly I reached the answer to the dilemma I've been facing for so many years. This, as always, was followed by a cosmic sigh of relief and the "at last" feeling that I've received from Amos on a fairly regular basis, not quite as often as 3 times a week though thank goodness LOL.

I realised this. I have only one loyalty and that's my work. I have only one boss and that's my Guide, currently Amos.

This doesn't mean I'm going to rush around making agreements with people and breaking them when it suits me, because that wouldn't reflect my work at all in any way shape or form and is therefore unacceptable.

It also doesn't mean that I abdicate all responsibility for my actions to Amos, I most certainly do not. What it does mean is that whoever I work with now or in the future has to know that I am working out my own life path and not that of someone else.

Please note too that it does NOT mean I'm going to become suddenly perfect, if you're asking that of me you're asking too much. I haven't achieved angelic status here, just a bit of clarity!

What it also means is that it has to be crystal clear that my work comes first and that's how I need to proceed. The good of the work for the good of people, animals and the planet has to be my guiding light, in the sincere hope that I can inspire or help them as others have inspired and helped me. I come from the Marianne Williamson school - we came here with a light to shine and hiding that light does not serve the world and I am here to serve it.

I am Deb Dancing Star Hawken and my job is to reach as many people as I can and share whatever inspiration I can in the hope that it will help them somehow. I also would like to work on world peace.

I cannot tell you how much helping others is my very reason for being. You might think that as a writer I should be able to put it into words but for me some things go so deep there are no words and my work and the welfare of others are two of those things.

Yes the welfare of my family, friends and animals will always be of the utmost importance to me and losing anyone of them is a regret and sadness I always carry with me, it's part of what creates my compassion, but I can't let anything or anyone compromise why I am here because my why is quite simply my life.

I hope that for others of you out there who have struggled with the same issues these ideas will help you to reach clarity, especially when other people put you in the position that you're going to let someone down. I've been put in a 'damned if I do and damned if I don't situation' by other peoples' fears and actions 6 times in the last 8 months where I know I risk becoming hugely unpopular with someone if I want to be hugely popular with someone else. Or even if I just want to do my work.

You see, I have a dream and it's this. One day, 50 years or so after I'm on the other side, someone will turn to someone in trouble and say something like "you know, my grandmother once told me something that changed my life, she couldn't remember who said it or where she heard but it's this '.....' I hope it will help you too." They might even have read it in one of my books, who knows, but they won't know who Deb Hawken was because she'll be me again; the Spiritual me.

If I don't do my work only for the sake of the love I have for people, animals and the planet, then how can I ever become the person that time forgot?

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and Spiritual clarity in all that you do.

Deb xx

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: BBC Outrage

2011-07-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: BBC Outrage: "I've been watching the debate about the way the BBC treated Mediumship recently and although I haven't seen the programme I don't have a pro..."

BBC Outrage

2011-07-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've been watching the debate about the way the BBC treated Mediumship recently and although I haven't seen the programme I don't have a problem with their methodology. They bought two Mediums into the discussion, ok it was by video link but that's always been an acceptable way of people appearing on news programmes etcetera. So they gave us a chance to speak.

I'm sure that people didn't agree with us and equally sure that harsh and rude words were said. The usual stuff about taking advantage of the weak for money probably cropped up. It really doesn't bother me.

Why?

Because I'm sure and certain of who I am and the abilities I have and I would never take advantage of anyone for money. I trust me and they don't know me, and I am comforted by the process of that logic.

Although I don't like rudeness and would prefer cynics to be polite in their condemnation of us, I can handle that condemnation because they have a right to their opinions. If a cynic was politely dismissive I can take it. I think it's the rudeness and suggestions that we should be shot at dawn etcetera that are unacceptable.

You see even though I know that I would never take advantage of a person for money and I know that my friends in the field wouldn't either I also accept that there are people out there who do; whose behaviour is so far over the line they can't see the line any more. We all know that and we all know that we will be unfairly judged by their standards. I'm sure that decent accountants, doctors and police officers feel exactly the same way.

When it comes to the question of earning money for our work, let's face it, there are Mediums in the field who agree with that statement. I feel that choosing whether to be a professional working Medium and exercising the right to use your abilities as work is a very personal thing, and we have to accept that those who feel our abilities are a gift will always disagree with us earning money. Even priests who work directly for God are paid and given a roof over their heads.

I prefer to do this work full time and again I have full confidence that this is a good use of my time that benefits others. I know that there are people out there who have been greatly helped to both heal their grief and guide their life because I do this for a living. I am comfortable with my personal decision. Other people exercise their rights to work for themselves utilising their abilities and I choose to do the same.

We also know that we can't change the mind of any other human being. If we have the free will to be Mediums then they have the free will not to believe in us. Moreover, anyone without our life experience will never be able to imagine it in their wildest dreams.

So the message is this, don't be defensive, don't be hurt. Just get on and do what you do. Convert those you can save and be gentle with those you can't even if they can't be gentle with you. Use your energy for the good, don't waste it on a battle that can't be won...yet.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Charlie's Chewsletter - New Group Being Started

2011-06-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Hoomans

It haz been sum time since I've written to you in my own words and worn out my pawses tryping to you on mum's laptop. However, I iz a bit feds up so I've decided to start a new group it's called CAFFE.

Charlie Against Feline Female Emancipation

Now I don't knows what emancipation is (I got mum to smell it for me) but I do knows that it isn't a good idea - as can be clearly seen from this very telling photograph where I is a victim of emancipation AGAIN.

For those of you unfamiliar with my lifestyle let me just tell you that I live with 4 sisters and my mum. I also haz a dad but he duz lots of workings and is b*******g off to NZ in September without me and leaving me at their mercies. PLUS auntie Jayne might have moved in by then too and although she's very nice and calls me beautiful a lot she iz still a female and therefore emancipated and definitely untrustworthy.

I knows that all the mens reading this will completely understand the pawsition in which I finds myself (usually under a woman what haz her claws out and a nasty glint in her eye). And I will admit to being somewhat of a softie who's growl is rarely backed up by more than a quick snap of the jawz if mum izn't looking.

This is becoz mum a) adopted 4 women and then b) banned all violence from the household! Now why on earth would she get 3 women before me and 1 after me and then ban violence when it was most needed?

She duz say that I did torment Jo-Jo for the first year of my life and turn her from a sweetie into a warrior queen where I'm concerned (pleeze note that she is a warrior queen and I am "Charlie stop growling NOW") Surely she knowz that any man cowering under a table with his paws over his head is only growling for show and would high-tail it out of there like a rocket on speed if he's given half a chance and the others aren't lurking casually round corners waiting to biff him?

I wishes I could borrow my dad's motorbike (Doris) then I'd show them how quick I could get my butt out of the firing line. Hell hath no fury like a woman who's bum's been bit - wished I'd knowed that before I bit my first bum.

I'm sure that all you mens sympathise with my plight as you go through the same types of things likes forgetting Valentine's day, wedding anniversaries, her birthday, her (in the car park at Tescos). A word of advice there, if you drive away without her again come back, park somewhere else and claim that you were in that spot last week, THIS week you've been at the other end of the car park the whole time.

Anyways, if any mens want to joins my group I could modify it to Charlie Against Female Emancipation (I had to drop an F becoz mum wouldn't let me puts in the other F word I wanted to use).

This group will be to raise money to take us all somewhere there are no women but lots of cooks and peeple wot can provide food and the basic necessities of life (water, string, mices, butterflies - which I DO NOT chase). You hooman mens might want something different but if any of the difference is females I shall drum you out of the group instantly and bites your butts for good measure. I sure hopes my mouth is big enough!

Anyway, I haz to go now becoz mum needs to put the ices cream that she is NOT eating back in the freezer. I can also confirm to my aunties Nicky and Belle that she does have copious supplies of chocolate on the premises and on the grounds that I hears her scream when she sees her chocolate in the mirror before she gets dressed she does not need any more! Those screems are really deafening, I thought WWIII had broken out the other day and it was an air raid siren going off, turns out she'd caught sight of herself in the door of the conservatory.

Anyway, if you are going to bring goodies aunties pleeze gets them from any well known pet store - you'd be doing mum a favour providing whatever you buys haz no legz and iz NOT female! In which case you would find that my bite IZ worser than my growl.

I will sign off now. Pleeze send all donashuns (please note that duz not read NOT dalmations especially NOT female onez) to my dad who is collecting the monies for me and NOT spending it on the trip to NZ whilst he abandonz me to all them wimmins. I think he might be coming with us eventually though on the grounds he's mucked up a good few remembering situations himself.

Mum said to him the other night that wherever his brain cell what duz remembering woz it wozn't in her head. I've been looking for it for him even since but mum sez no-one's eyesight is THAT good. I asked him where he last saw it and he said that no-one's memory is that good either.

So...on the grounds that cowardice is the better part of survival

I remain

In my barrel hidden behind a large bush

CharlieHawk

P.S. Dad...you reeely reely can't leave me alone with them wimmins...how much will a first class seat for me cost and a) will my groupies mind me spendings my monies on it and b) will you be lonely in economy?
P.P.S. This Chewsletter was generated by Amie pouncing on me whilst I woz asleep in the sun and bitings my head - auntie Nicky witnessed this via the mobile tepelone and will be glad to be a witness in court for me.
P.P.P.S. Amie and Jo-Jo had a fight today, they were laying on their sides in the sun batting at each other with one paw!
P.P.P.P.S. I might be a tell tail but actually it's a magnificent tail and deserves to be told! So There!
P.P.P.P.P.S. Dad - if you're going back to Noo Zeeland to find your brain cell don't bother, it will only get you into trouble!

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: Training the Dancing Star Way

2011-06-21T04:24:00.000-07:00

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: Training the Dancing Star Way: "I've been a Psychic Medium for many years and am now a professional working Psychic Medium. As part of my work I do a lot of teaching at hom..."

Training the Dancing Star Way

2011-06-21T04:04:00.000-07:00

I've been a Psychic Medium for many years and am now a professional working Psychic Medium. As part of my work I do a lot of teaching at home and abroad, recently in Sweden and in July I will be teaching in Limerick in Ireland with the SixSense Academy.

I underwent a great deal of training myself to become as professional a worker as possible, and I wholeheartedly believe in training and that good training prepares you not only to do the work to a high standard, but also for the ups and downs common to any career or calling and to help you to cope with the slings and arrows of outraged cynics.

I love inspiring people to free their own abilities and see what kind of Spiritual worker they are, yet when I first began my own training I was surprised that quite a few people coming on the courses didn't want to be Psychic Mediums or other Spiritual workers, in fact they weren't quite sure why they felt drawn to come on the courses in the first place. They went home feeling much better about life, themselves and their place in the universe but it was still a conundrum that required solving.

In fact it caused me one or two furrowed brows I can tell you, and obviously those weren't good for my on-going youthful good looks so I had to get to the bottom of this puzzle.

When I began offering training myself I started by asking the students why they thought they were on the course but to be honest "I don't really know" wasn't a particularly helpful answer. Then I turned to my Guide Amos, who obviously gave me a few pointers but said 'just see how your work develops'. Onset of another furrowed brow moment!

So knowing that he is eternally wise I just went with my work. At first I kept up with the classical style of training but gradually I realised that other things were important not just to me but to the overall personal development that is key to creating a truly good Spiritual worker. Wherever that person chooses to work.

I also realised that people were receiving the training of how to read cards or ribbons, screwed up paper (yes it's possible) or someone's jewellery, photographs or sealed envelopes; they were learning to channel the Spirit World and giving good messages with verifiable evidence; yet there was something missing.

It took me time developing myself as a tutor and a person - which is of course the best way, learn by experience and then teach by example - before I realised the two keys that had been missing.

Firstly, not everyone wants or needs to be a Psychic, Medium or healer but they do have a calling to Spirituality not the Spiritual field, and that calling is about how they live their life and the changes they make in order to be happier and more fulfilled, and generally a more positive person to be around. This is important because most people will learn by example and the Spiritual example is not and should not be exclusive to the Spiritual field.

This brings me onto the second key, which is that whether you want to be a Spiritual worker or not the skills and abilities you develop by doing the training can affect every corner of your life in a positive way. You can use them to improve your communication skills and the way you interact with others by developing your ability to understand others at a deeper level. To be in touch with your own truth and make successful decisions. When communication improves and self-honesty sets in you are far more likely to see a happy life being lived that you want to emulate.

You can use your Mediumistic skills to develop a strong contact with your Guides who can support you in walking your own Spiritual pathway, because sometimes we need more life experience and real-world opportunities in order to develop our own unique knowledge base before we begin working in the Spiritual field.

Those talents may not lead a person into becoming an obvious Spiritual worker, but it doesn't mean that at heart they're not. People aren't always ready to be offered Spiritual thinking, but it doesn't mean that they don't need to be shown a more subtle approach to everyday living.

The other thing I now know is that I didn't become a qualified Life Coach by accident or mistake, I did it because walking your talk is extremely important if you're going to act as a beacon of light and hope for others. After all, who wants to emulate an unsuccessful unhappy person?

My Coaching skills and the element of counselling I studied help me to translate the recognition that students are struggling from the Psychic 'knowing' into real life action. Those very practical skills also help me to teach students so much more than how to deliver a good message, I can show them how to develop happiness and strength in their own life rather than just concentrate on others and end up exhausted themselves. So many Spiritual workers forget that they exist because they give too much energy to the needs of their clients (and any stranger they bump into at the supermarket, a party, at work, etc.).

So as you can see, the training I offer goes far deeper than becoming a Spiritual worker, it includes every area of your life.

I hope that through my training I can create trust in yourself, put a smile on your face, help you to become fulfilled and happy in every area of your life, and maybe - just maybe - give birth to a few good Spiritual workers.

All that and no stretch marks or consternation wrinkles!

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and laughter lines

Deb

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: The Ambulance Service Effect

2011-04-19T04:49:00.000-07:00

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: The Ambulance Service Effect: "I seem to be on a theme this week of getting positives out of negatives, although I did once win a small but very precious prize for that gi..."

The Ambulance Service Effect

2011-04-19T04:48:00.000-07:00

I seem to be on a theme this week of getting positives out of negatives, although I did once win a small but very precious prize for that given to me by a wonderful Medium called Sharon Harvey.

However...

As you know everything I 'preach' I have practised. I have also been singularly daft because I've learned all my lessons the hard way when the easy way would have been so much more pleasant - and the hard way probably wore out one Guide! I'm only kidding of course, but strangely I got a much more determined chap in his place LOL.

When I was 16 I was sent to work against my will in a job chosen for me by my parents, and landed up working in London taking inland telegrams. I was far too young for shift work that left me sitting alone on the platform at Blackfriars Station in London on cold dark nights waiting for the train home. Fortunately the platform staff were incredibly kind and one usually sat with me or kept an eye on me, and then made sure that I got into a populated carriage.

Because I couldn't cope with the evening and weekend work and no social life whatsoever I landed up leaving, and my father decided to get me an interview in the local ambulance headquarters. I duly went for the interview with the instruction not to embarrass him by failing to get the job. I got it.

I know that this sounds utterly feeble, twice being told what job to go and get by your parents, but actually I was feeble in those days. I was also 16. It was also the early 1970s and in our echelon of society you did not rebel. I knew that to rebel would result in my being politely asked to find myself a flat.

So I got the job and I will never, ever forget the awful feeling I had the first day I walked into the place. The nearest I can describe it was that it felt like life ending. To this day it was the most unkind and bitchy place that I ever worked and that's saying something in nearly 40 years.

The people there had decided that I only got the job because of my father and they were going to show me that I couldn't expect any favours, and I was told this within 1/2 an hour of walking through the door. My father was a very junior officer by the way, not THE boss!

They certainly didn't deliver any favours but they didn't deliver any kindness either. The strange thing was that due to my post office training I was actually over qualified for the role. I told my mother how horrible it all was and she told me that I had to beat this, therefore I had to stay there until I got on with everyone. So I did.

I also got caught in the 1970s recession which meant that there weren't any jobs to move into, and the work we did was so specialised that when I did go for another job no one interviewing me understood what I did for a living.

I wasn't the only one badly treated, all the younger girls got a version of what I got. For example walking in on a bloated day to have someone call out "look at the size of your stomach - are you pregnant?"

Then I started on the Spiritual pathway by being taught to change my thinking and the way I reacted to things. Gradually things began to change and I found that I became the person who did all the collections, knew when someone was ill and got the cards, and generally started to take care of the place.

As I changed spiritually so did things around me. I became more popular with the staff there and I found it easier to have conversations with them. I laughed off the rudeness until there was no point in being rude any more. I cheeked one of the senior officers until he threatened to report me and then told him that perhaps I had no respect for him because of the constant innuendo he subjected me to. That sorted out that problem once and for all. Oddly we became great friends.

Eventually I can honestly tell you that those people became some of my greatest friends and I remember almost every one of them with a great deal of affection and respect. This would never have happened if I had remained the person I was brought up to be, because it was the spirituality in me that made it ok for them to like me and vice versa.

There were two absolutely incandescent moments during those years. The first was about a man that I will call Poppa Dee (we used the phonetic alphabet and that was his call sign). To say we hated each other with a passion when I first joined the job would be the understatement of the millennium. I couldn't do a thing right and he scared me witless (I'm being polite here).

Then something happened to him and he went from angry and unpleasant to vulnerable and frightened in a way that was truly heartbreaking. He realised then that a lot of the problems I had suffered with when I joined had been about a similar vulnerability and fear and we started talking. A few months later he said something to me along the lines of "I couldn't stand you when you first joined the job but I have to say you've grown into one of the nicest people I have ever known. You've really grown up well." I still hold that comment very dear to my heart and my respect for him went through the roof when he said it.

Sadly he died a few months later for reasons none of us understood and actually of nothing, they literally couldn't put anything on his death certificate. We always felt that he died of a broken heart. His illness and subsequent passing brought the office team together in a way you would have had to see to believe, the kindness and gentleness emanating from the entire group was awesome and unforgettable.

I'm not putting this down to my spiritual rebirth, far from it, I think the emotional crash of one so close to us really taught us all something important and I know that through him we learnt to value each other far more highly and he taught us something very special with his passing.

The second wonderful thing was the day I left and the love that was shown to me. I still have the gift they gave me and I would never part with it - tatty though it's getting it stays as a memory of those people, the changes we all made, the darling cat who liked to sleep in it, and my great good fortune in discovering the spiritual path and the special man who put my feet so firmly on it.

All in all a very good memory of spiritual growth and the ability to become an entirely different person. Something I hope continues to this day and will never stop.

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, and wonderful memories dragged out of the garbage of the past

Deb

The Battle Between Light and Dark

2011-04-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

If you read yesterday's blog about the Archangel Metatron you will remember that darkness and light have been mentioned once again.

As I've travelled my Spiritual journey I've met many people who have discussed this issue, and a few who have used the word 'darkness' as a way to try to undermine very ordinary human beings.

No one could live in this world without realising that there is darkness in humanity, but let's be sensible here, there are very few human beings walking this planet who truly have darkness inside them, and who are we to judge who those people might be?

You could say that anger is darkness, or is it just anger? Are envy and jealousy darkness or emotions generated by fear of not being good enough or fear of success?

You could say that serial killers have darkness in them, or are they damaged in some way and it isn't darkness it is something that went wrong at birth? If you watch programmes about serial killers you will see that there is something missing in them, and we all know how cold their eyes are when you see the police mugshots taken on arrest. Are they evil or do they need fixing?

You could ask why people such as Hitler were created, and yet there is a theory that Hitler had a medical condition that affected his state of mind. So was he darkness or was he insane?

Stalin is another example, he did some truly awful things yet no one who has studied history would ever describe Josef Stalin as sane.

I'm not trying to tell you that the actions of any of the people mentioned above are excusable, they are not. However, when you compare them to ordinary people walking the street are we really talking about the same thing?

If a person is damaged by their childhood and/or adult life and they don't act honourably is that really darkness? If a person isn't 100% perfect is that darkness or humanity? At what level do you judge whether a person is human or has darkness within them? And who are you to judge?

I honestly believe that it's about time we stopped throwing the word 'darkness' around like a weapon and instead talked about acceptable behaviour. The darkness that most people say they see in others is formed by the base emotions of jealousy and envy, with a good dash of fear to complete the mix. It's just people acting out fear and lack of self worth.

On the other hand psychologists do say that which annoys us most about others is where they are most like ourselves. So before anyone accuses anyone of having darkness within them they should stop and ask why that person is annoying them and why they want to see them as a lesser person.

It's possible that to accuse other people of bad behaviour is to want to take them down a peg or two, perhaps because there is a resentment of who they are, and they've probably worked very hard to become who they are.

So don't focus on whether others are good people or not. Don't judge anyone, or at the very least wait until you know them very well before coming to a conclusion. If you're walking the Spiritual pathway ask yourself if you should even be thinking in those terms, or whether words such as kindness and compassion should guide your path. After all, if you're Spiritual you should rely on your Guides to protect you in which case you have no need to fear.

It is better by far to concentrate on your own life and your own 'becoming' rather than focus on others. In doing that it is possible to be so focussed on their lessons that you miss your own. Doing that will only hurt and hold back one person - you.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights (and light within and without)

Deb

How the Archangel Metatron got into Trouble Over Me!

2011-04-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

This is my thoughtful photograph because this blog has taken a lot of thought and consideration.

A while ago and at a place never to be named I did a Demonstration of Mediumship with another Medium. It wasn't a good day for me and something inside me snapped and said "stop", so I handed over to the other very generous person working with me and decided to go into the moment with the intention of standing back up again shortly.

Apparently from that moment on I wasn't in the room for at least 20 minutes. The other Medium called me, a friend called me, and they apparently concluded that wherever I was it wasn't "here". When I finally came back - with no awareness that I'd done anything but watch the other Medium the entire time - I channelled the Archangel Metatron.

This came as somewhat of a shock as I don't work with the Angels. I have an Angelic Healing Guide but when I asked if he was an Angel he said that he was "from the Angelic Realm and here to provide clean energy". Apart from that I only had the same knowledge anyone else has who has read the Bible and some of the Koran.

I actually had to ask the audience if anyone knew about him, and got a couple of vague answers. So I passed the message he gave about why living in the now is very important; then thanked the other Medium who helped me out profusely and that was that!

Strangely I'd bought the Angel Bible by Hazel Raven a few days before with the intention of learning something about Angel work as I'm starting to work with Chrissie Astell. So when I got home I dug the book out and looked up Metatron. He looked pretty impressive to say the least!

However (there's always a however isn't there), the next day I was loitering near a crystal stall at this un-named and never to be mentioned place when a group of people came up to me. One lady asked if I was Deb Hawken and said that she'd heard I was "a pretty good Medium". Before I could take a breath one of the crystal sellers said "you wouldn't think that if you'd seen her yesterday".

I must admit that I burst out laughing and said something along the lines of "that definitely wasn't one of my better days", and oddly didn't feel offended at all. Then this same person said "And I didn't feel comfortable with you channelling Metatron yesterday because he's one of the dark Angels, he's attracted to darkness in you and brings it out."

Well I was a bit shocked but not wanting to be rude in front of a crowd of people, nor being sure of my ground at that time I asked my Guide Amos for help. He just said "Metatron could only bring out darkness if darkness was there, and there is no darkness in Debra."

The person behind the stall was then gently encouraged to move away from me and help someone else with a purchase and I walked off a bit baffled, not just because this person I barely knew had tried to damage the reputation of someone they barely knew, but also because my research of Metatron thus far didn't lead to those conclusions. However, you always have to listen to what people say and engage in extensive research before you can make a comment.

So first I put Metatron into a famous search engine and everything that came up was good. Then I put "Metatron dark Angel" in and that turned up nothing. I then turned to my new book and read up as much as I could about Metatron...here's a precis:

Basically he's the most senior of the Seraphims and the only Angel allowed to look directly at the face of God. He led the children of Israel to safety out of Egypt. He and Seraphiel were both once human (Enoch and Elijah respectively) and considered by God to be so spiritual that He lifted them from the earth without having to pass through death and turned them into the two ruling Archangels. His name means "throne sharer" or "lesser God". He constitutes pure spirit. He activates the Soul Star Chakra (above your head not at the crown) and then key information is downloaded into your other Chakras in order to initiate the process of light body activation. I could go on.

As you can see, he's one of the good guys and there is nothing dark attached to his name, quite the opposite. He embodies the purity to which we all aspire.

I followed my research so far up with a call to Chrissie Astell. I wanted to speak to Chrissie because part of her degree covers Angelogy and I wanted to talk to someone that I knew had studied the Angel folk-law and history in depth. Chrissie confirmed and expanded on my research.

So what was going on here? What did I learn from this experience?

You might think I'm going to go into a rant about being attacked over Metatron and my work, but I'm not. My Mediumship has to stand up to scrutiny on each separate occasion I work and I don't let my ego get in the way of my work. I go out each time as a fresh Medium having a fresh experience, review each demonstration, take the lessons from it and move on.

So what did I learn? I learned that for the first time in my life I didn't feel insulted, I didn't walk away muttering "I wish I'd said that...done that...told them that...defended myself more...smacked them!" I walked away quite happy with who I was and totally trusting myself and the other side.

It has always been my belief that the darkness on the other side that human beings perceive doesn't exist, it comes under the heading of "nothing can be that good so I have to look for darkness because I can't trust the light." I felt that the experience bore that out, because all Metatron did was come through and deliver a very simple but beautiful message to the people in the room - and to me.

I also know that if I see my accuser again it will be fine, I won't need to leap around screaming "How DARE you do that to me!!!!" and other such things because I stepped out of another person's issues and didn't let them affect me.

Most importantly I had a little experience of something I need to know - that the more well known I get the more people I will find who don't automatically adore me. I can handle that because I don't automatically adore me either. However, the other side are very good at giving me small tests in safe environments so that I learn to cope with different things, and that was one of them.

I thank Amos for his support, Metatron for his message, the lovely Medium who supported me through that tricky day, and the other side for a taster experience to help me learn to deal with such things.

I also ask you, the reader, to look below the obvious at all times and see the real message, because since that day some amazing things have happened to me that I might have missed if I'd wasted time fuming!

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Journey to Gavle

2011-03-28T15:26:00.001-07:00

The journey to Gavle (pronounced Yarvler) in Sweden started 28 years ago when I was 15 years old. I was walking down the street on a beautiful spring day feeling fantastic, the weather was beautiful, and all was right with the world; then I took another step.

In that moment I went from a happy, carefree teenager to a terrified one, and I can't tell you why.

For the next 28 years I struggled against acute anxiety, doing things that really scared me and getting through them but never comfortably and certainly never easily. I'm proud of myself that I never gave in, but that pride didn't negate the struggle I lived through every day, beginning when I woke up in the morning.

I used to say that I was grateful if I managed to stay sane until I went to bed, because I spent so much time in fear of losing my mind.

I had a list of things that scared me that was long and completely unreasonable, and for someone who found it difficult to leave their own home flying was pretty near the top of that list.

Even so I managed to go to New Zealand with my husband and meet his family in 1993 but I haven't flown since, until this weekend.

As many of you will know I am a working Psychic Medium, writer and inspirational speaker, and I work very closely with my Spirit Guide Amos. You will also know that I have never pretended to be more than human and I have always made it clear that I empathise because I have struggled too.

A few months ago, through a friend, I was invited to go and work in Sweden and I said yes. I still felt scared but I also knew that it was time that this fear went. I waited for the panic to appear and it didn't, however I was concerned that it would.

Then Amos asked me why I "made up stories". I discovered that he was referring to the fact that unreasonable fear causes us to make up scenarios in our minds that aren't true. They are based purely in a fear-induced over-active imagination.

As is my way when I am provided with wisdom of that kind I listened and I began to consciously work with this idea. When the day came to get on the aeroplane I waited for the fear and it didn't come. I did have a small wobble every so often but I walked on to the plane confidently and happily.

I had made up my mind that I would watch the cabin crew and if they remained relaxed then I would too. So when there was a little bump or rattle, or the alarming sound that turned out to be the wheels retracting into the fuselage, I checked the cabin crew and the faces of more seasoned travellers and if they looked comfortable I chose to allow myself to feel the same way.

I flew into Sweden's Arlanda airport with my nose buried in a book, barely raising my head when we had what my seasoned traveller of a husband called an interesting landing. I spent the weekend in Gavle enjoying every second of my time without once considering the flight home. And I danced onto the return flight with a new book and no concerns whatsoever.

My journey to Gavle led me not only to meet wonderful people, but also to spend time in a country I have discovered that I can completely relax in. What it is about the energy of the country and its people I do not know, what I do know is that all the niggles that prey on my mind when I'm at home ceased to exist and I am filled with gratitude for that.

It might have taken me many years hard work and a constant and complete determination never to give in to that fear that was often exhausting but necessary in order for me to overcome it, but it was worth it to get on that plane and visit a place where I can relax and forget myself.

I will always have Gavle, I will always have the wonderful friend I made over there (Pierre Hasselbrandt) and I hope I will get to know better the many lovely people he introduced me to and who supported my work when I was there.

What I won't have is the fear I've battled for 28 years, and I am more than happy to kiss that goodbye once and for all.

For many people they have a long hard road to hoe when it comes to their inner demons, but I'm proof that if you don't give up and if you work with the ideas that others give you, using them as tools for change, you too can go and find your own Gavle.

If you have an Amos it helps too, and my gratitude in being a guided Spiritual worker knows no bounds. If you don't have an Amos you have me.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights, knowing that if I can overcome my inner demons so can you.

Deb

Spirituality and Speech

2011-03-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

I don't often use my blog to rant but this has annoyed me.

At a recent demonstration an attendee came up to a friend of mine and told her that she was very upset because she had been told by someone at a mind, body, soul event that the Medium that night wasn't very good.

It transpired that, being a decent human being, she had decided to go along anyway to judge for herself rather than listen to gossip.

She was very angry for two reasons, firstly because she said it wasn't true but secondly - and most importantly - because she was investigating the Spiritual field in order to add something positive to her life that she felt was missing.

She said to my friend something along the lines of "What's the point in getting involved if even people in this field can be so unpleasant?" My friend spoke to her and encouraged her to keep coming, but the story really annoyed me because this lady was right to question her continued involvement.

Even though Spiritual Workers are just ordinary people with the same weaknesses and failings as everyone else we still need to understand the responsibility we take on when we choose to assume the mantle of Spiritual Worker.

When people turn to our field for help and inspiration they do so because they need to have faith in something. They are looking for hope for the future and something more positive and loving than everyday life seems to offer. What they don't want, need or deserve is the same old same old in the way of fear induced criticism. Especially when it comes cloaked in the form of Spirituality.

Spiritual workers don't get sprinkled with fairy dust when they commit to working for the Spirit World, they remain very normal human beings who have good days and bad days. This is wonderful work but it isn't easy work and like anyone a Spiritual worker can have a bad day at work. Surely we of all people should understand this and not judge each other?

So to anyone working in the Spiritual field I say this. Before you decide to comment negatively about another Spiritual worker think about what image you're presenting to the people who seek our help and don't trample their hopes and dreams into the dust of negativity.

A person who needs this work and our help to support her in managing her everyday life, and perhaps her grief, was nearly lost and that can never be right. If you need to have a whinge do so to someone in the field who is certain of their own beliefs and won't be damaged by your attitude.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Global Focus - Calling All Light-Workers

2011-03-09T08:23:00.000-08:00

You may or may not know that I'm married to a New Zealander; as such the recent earthquakes in Christchurch have been very personal to both of us even though we are deeply fortunate that our family is on the North Island.

However, this morning, along with his birthday greetings, my husband received news that Wellington are being threatened that it's their turn soon.

This is obviously very frightening, although Tony's family are not people to dwell on the negative.

As part of this situation and the recent floods in Australia I can't help but notice how many people post and re-post about these events. How many send emails with yet another video about the chaos and destruction, damaged lives and bereavement.

Obviously this is understandable because there is an emotional need at these times to know that other people care about what's happening and you're not alone, but as a light-worker this attitude really worries me.

We know that positive thinking leads to positive outcomes and negative thinking takes our lives the other way. Whilst we know that controlling the weather and seismic activity of a planet is a challenge to say the least, do we have the right to focus on the negative on behalf of the people living in these places. I think not.

I'm not just talking about the Antipodes either, close as they and their people may feel to us. I'm talking about Pakistan, China, India, Italy, and all the other places that have suffered natural disasters.

As light-workers I feel we need to do two things and do them constantly. Firstly, send out healing to the planet earth and use positive visualisations to settle the planet down. Secondly we must send healing to all people affected by natural disasters and with it send our confidence and certainty that they will find the strength and emotional healing to rebuild their lives. We can also send a good dose of that strength with our healing.

We can set up points of light in these tragedy-ridden areas to help both those still on this side and those who have lost their lives. The points of light will draw the souls of those who have passed to the Spirit World, and they will also help the people who walk through them to feel healing, love and strength. We can keep those points of light topped up with positive healing energy to help.

I'm going to ask for help to create one in Christchurch by the Cathedral. It would be lovely if you would send your healing and support to make sure that the point of light expands to take in the entire city and surrounding areas. I'm also going to ask for help to send healing to the fault line in the hope that it will somehow grease the edges and make the two plates glide easily past each other.

Many people won't believe as we believe, many won't see that it can help, but we as light-workers must send positive energy to those people, they have all the negativity they need and we cannot in all conscience do anything that will pull them down further.

In one way we are helpless when such awful things happen, but in another we can be the most powerful because of the healing energy we can ask for and send. Can we help the planet and prevent these disasters? Who knows because the planet is always in a state of flux, but we should at least try to do something positive and not add to their woes by sending tears and misery.

From now on let's make a pact that when something happens anywhere in the world we will create a point of light and ask the universe to expand it with healing energy to help those living in that area.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Trust

2011-02-20T05:24:00.000-08:00

Trust is a funny word isn't it? We talk about it a lot, we think about it a lot, we blame the lack of trust in others for a multitude of sins and negative events, and yet we misplace it all the time.

You're probably thinking that I'm referring to all the times you've trusted other people only to find that they weren't who they say they are. Well I'm not, I'm referring to trusting yourself.

If you trust yourself then it doesn't matter what anyone else does or says, you know that you can overcome or deal with whatever the results are of other people's actions. However, self-trust comes hand-in-hand with choice and responsibility.

Yes I know that three hands is an impossible thing and brings on images of juggling, but actually these three attributes - or choices as I prefer to call them - are perfectly fitting pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that can create a new you in no time at all.

If you're always third-partying your life, putting your happiness in the hands of strangers, and generally blaming everyone and everything for all the pits you fall into, then you are giving away the power in your life.

To remain within your own power you must make choices, then take the responsibility for those choices, and lastly trust yourself that whatever anyone else does you will be able to handle it confidently and quickly.

If you can own those three handholds of life then you will discover that you aren't at the mercy of others all the time. Not only that, you will forge better relationships because you will take two levels of responsibility, firstly for doing your part to be a positive partner in the relationship (be it romance, work, friendship, etcetera), and secondly by knowing that if it doesn't work you will notice and you will know what to do. More importantly, you will know when to walk away.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Ego Boost

2011-02-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

I know that in Spiritual circles the word ego isn't a pretty one, in fact it's been known to make grown adults spend hours telling you how they don't have an ego and wouldn't know what one was if they saw one. The trouble is that most people don't know what the ego actually is.

So what is it? I'm glad you asked! The word means "I" in Greek, and the ego is something that sits between the Super Ego (our conscience) and the id (the pleasure principal which helps us to get our basic needs met).

The id develops first in our babyhood and it allows us to get the necessary sustenance to survive. The Super Ego develops as we are taught right from wrong and becomes the parent in our own head.

The ego is the sense of self and also the sense that others have a self, it is the ego part of us that understands that fulfilling only our own needs is selfish. It is the ego's job to sit between the needs of the id whilst taking reality into consideration - you could say it ensures that we are fed and watered but prevents us from keeping all the food for ourselves.

As you can see, the ego gets a very bad press because it is regularly and wrongly defined as showing off.

Yet how do we define that state of needing to know best about everything that matters if it isn't ego? You define it as fear. Anyone who has to spend ages telling you how wonderful they are or how wonderful you aren't is suffering from fear.

Their confidence is threatened because they haven't developed the balanced sense of self that allows others 'to be' and doesn't feel that if one person is good at something that means they cannot also be good at whatever it is. That's what causes the fear mode of becoming the world expert on everything.

Nowhere will you experience that fear more than in the Spiritual field. There are so many Spiritual workers out there doubting themselves that, through fear, they land up judging others and finding them wanting. Perhaps this is because we can't stick a degree or professional qualification under anyone's nose and yell "there, it's official, I do know what I'm doing."

Our lack of officially recognised training isolates us and leaves us in a place where we have to trust ourselves more completely than in any other field of life. That can be scary because most people in life doubt themselves.

Imagine if you will having to stand up for something so completely, with no backing and no proof, the only thing you have is your own honest and genuine belief. That's not much of a stick to defend yourself with is it? Some people just can't deal with it.

I've known many Spiritual workers brought to their knees because of the fear of having an ego. I've also known many attacked for their work and almost disabled by the unpleasantness of the situation. If you think about that for a moment you will understand that any Spiritual worker needs their ego (without it you'd have no sensitivity to your clients) and their sense of self. They also need to be able to judge realistically whether they are or are not doing a good job.

It's utterly ridiculous and serves no useful purpose to going round being over-humble and compromising your ability to do your work just so that no one mentions the word 'ego' in your presence. Your clients deserve the best and they deserve to know that you know that you can deliver that - realistically. Remember, the ego is about realism. I've never heard my Guide tell me he's brilliant or useless, he just gets on with it.

Knowing quietly within yourself that you are confident in what you do is realism, and therefore ego. Telling everyone, everywhere how much better you are than everyone else who's ever been born and how much more you know is just plain showing off.

So if you're not doing that, if you're not tearing others down in order to bolster yourself up your ego is in perfect working order.

Yet what do you do when your work takes a huge knock? If you are a true Spiritual worker you pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again.

If you can't do that then you do have a problem and it's not ego. It means you're in the Spiritual field for the wrong reasons and you're not working simply for the love of Spirit.

I spoke to someone the other day who, to me, epitomises the term 'Spiritual Worker'. I'm not going to reveal who that person is but I can tell you that on the scale of hard knocks that person has experienced a real doozy. Yet they're out there still trying to improve on their work and offer more to the people they meet. Not only that, they have the courage to acknowledge the hammering they've taken, accept it and move on.

The person is gentle and genuine. Yet obviously they do have a good sense of who they are and what they can do - goodness knows they've had enough evidence via their own two eyes to know that - and it's that sense of reality (ego) that is keeping them going and driving them to constantly improve .

So, remember that your ego is there to give you the sense of 'I' that you're entitled to have, and also to remind you that other people are 'I's' too.

I do work simply for the love of Spirit (over there and over here),

If you can do all these things, if you can take the knocks and the hard knocks without ever thinking about giving up then you are a Spiritual Worker, and your ego is doing it's job brilliantly, as are you!

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

2011-02-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

Co-Editor of Silent Voices Online Magazine
Latest article: Tony Stockwell
www.silentvoices.org.uk

Today I fluffed my pillows on the bed.

I got up as usual, whipped off my functional cold-weather snuggling gear and...before I tucked it under my top pillow...I picked up both pillows and fluffed them.

I doubt that you’re impressed. I doubt that you’re even surprised. The only mildly surprising things about all this are:

a) Doesn’t everyone?

b) Why am I telling you this?

I’m telling you because it’s through the simplest of our actions that we reveal ourselves and our thinking, thus demonstrating how we’re holding ourselves back.

For many years I’ve had trouble sleeping. My pillows have been uncomfortable and I can’t get my head and neck in a position conducive to sleep. I toss and turn, I thump the pillows, I curse them under my breath, and eventually I fall into a fitful sleep. They’re the kind of pillows that require fluffing to bring them back into shape and I don’t fluff them. Today I did.

So what have I learned from this that I want to convey to you?

I’ve learned that I am now ready to accept a decent night’s sleep and that I will take appropriate action to help create that sleep.

It’s a simple thing, almost a nothing thing. Yet everything we do tells us where we really are in life and how we really feel. Everything we don’t do tells us something about our lives. Everything we say tells us the truth. The problem is we don’t want to hear and see.

Let’s think about a few examples. Being too tired for sex obviously tells you something. What about going to the supermarkets and buying pre-prepared food, what does that tell you about your willingness to look after yourself properly? What does it tell you about nurturing those you love?

You’ll probably say you’re too busy, yet if you watch some of the TV chefs you can prepare a fantastic meal made with natural ingredients and have it on the table inside 20 minutes from beginning to end.

Are you constantly late for work? Ever considered that you don’t want to be there?

Do you say yes to things and then find excuses not to do them? Do you arrange to go out and find that you develop a headache or some such thing half an hour before and you’re frequently cancelling things? Anything you set up and cancel tells you what you really want.

Do you say you’re going home or that you’re going “back” or to “Acacia Drive”? Do you hate your body and reach for the chocolate, or use the car to go to the corner?

I could go on and on, but the message is watch what you do, listen to what you say, and learn to understand and accept what you really feel.

You might feel more comfortable going along pretending that all is ok, but I’ll guarantee you that other people can see and hear it, so it might be a good idea to bite the bullet and sort things out. Worst case scenario – you’ll be happier.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights (very appropriate)

Deb

Translating the Conversation

2011-01-23T10:50:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest problems we humans face in life are misunderstandings. We've all been victims of them and all been equally puzzled when things go wrong and chaos ensues.

We sit at home feeling wounded running through the conversation or situation again and again in our minds trying desperately to work out what went wrong, only to end up frustrated and with a headache.

In my experience of working with people I have realised something, and that is that people often translate conversations in their minds, decide what other people really mean when they say something, and convince themselves that whatever they really want to happen, will.

This is because we all have our own agendas and own desires, which brings me to the second part of this problem: knowing what you really want. Sadly, few people know what they really want out of life and if you don't believe me ask yourself how many people you know who are as blissfully and completely happy as possible in all areas of their lives. I'll guarantee you that you can think of very few.

You may know people happy in their work - but how many? You may know people happy in their relationship - but again how many? How many people do you know who are really, deep down, happy with their lot and how many do you know that are living a compromise?

Add to this that although we all think we listen to others, those best at the job have done years of training in learning to listen. This is because you need to learn to listen beneath the words and hear what the person is really saying. You do this by listening to their speech patterns, noticing what they talk about, and most importantly of all - watching their actions and noting the results.

We live lives of pretence, pretending that we are doing something, pretending we're working hard to bring about changes, pretending we want something when deep down inside we're screaming to escape.

We also care about the people around us so when they ask something of us we will say yes even when we mean no - again running a second conversation through our minds working out how we can get out of whatever it is as quickly as possible.

Thus it doesn't matter how clear we are when we talk, we're actually not talking about quite the same subject in quite the same way, and we're amazed when the wheels come off.

So the message is, listen to your own thoughts when you speak words, and listen to what the person in front of you is actually saying. Be aware when you're thoughts are running contrary to what your mouth is agreeing to.

Also understand that your agenda needs to be spoken clearly out loud otherwise you cannot expect the other person to understand you and what you want. A favourite Deb-ism of mine is - what isn't said isn't heard and you can't blame other people for their ignorance if you haven't spoken.

When dealing with someone else watch them carefully and if you're not certain you're on the same page flag that up and reinforce your side of the conversation as clearly as possible.

If you're not sure ask questions, and if it's in any way important (especially financially and emotionally) confirm the conversation in writing so that you both have it to go back to.

Just be aware though that every time you get into a muddle it won't be entirely the other person's fault because you were there too.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Too Much on My Mind - Getting Started with Meditation

2011-01-19T10:15:00.000-08:00

Resident Medium at Warner's Cricket St. Thomas Hotel in Somerset
Feature writer for Silent Voices Ezine, Vivid Life Ezine, Ezine, and Eternal Spirit Magazine
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The mind can be a very busy place, full of erroneous thoughts and ideas, nipping back into the past to pick over old wounds, worrying about those we love and care about, making mental shopping lists and to do lists and promptly forgetting everything, and then starting all over again.

The trouble is we're all Psychic to one degree or another and there is a theory that we pick up on each other for miles around because we're all linked by our energy output.

If you mention the word 'meditation' many people will tell you that they're unable to meditate because the moment they try to become quiet in mind and body everything listed above - and more - starts warring for space in their head. Far from becoming calm and serene they land up in a pitched battle with their mind struggling to calm down. Frequently they give up and reach for the chocolate and a good film instead.

Calming the mind down isn't easy for the beginner and the first thing you need to do is stop battling your mind. Allow it to be, allow it to think, but instead of holding on to the thoughts just go 'ok' and let them float away.

Then make sure you are wearing comfy clothes, you won't be able to calm the mind if your waistband is cutting off your circulation.

Next sit comfortably. It doesn't matter where or in what position as long as you're comfortable. Few of us have the flexibility to sit with our legs crossed in the lotus position for more than a nanosecond before cramp sends us screaming for the heat rub, and it's not worth ruining peace of mind with agony of body.

Just relax your hands in your lap. Some people say you should have your hands face up to receive energy and allow it to flow, but I have found that I can meditate perfectly well with my hands face down in my lap.

Dim the lights in the room, but you don't need to light candles or use incense unless you want to. Use headphones if they're comfortable but don't worry if they're not.

Now put on some music that you absolutely love, preferably instrumental, and listen to it. You're probably thinking "What? I always listen to music when it's on!" Actually you probably don't. Do you shut your eyes and really listen? Do you allow the music to flow through you and over you? Do you allow yourself to become so absorbed in that beautiful music that you forget everything else? That's what I mean by listening.

As a beginner it doesn't matter if you listen for one minute, three minutes or an hour. Just accept what you can do and don't worry about it. The more you worry the more you undo the good work.

You may find that meditation for five minutes is enough for you, if so that's absolutely fine. Feeling better is the ultimate objective and if you feel better that objective is achieved. There are no rules and unless you really want to be one of the top Sufi's in the world there's no need to be pedantic about timing and quality.

If at first you don't succeed keep trying, but if you definitely can't meditate then it might be that you're a person who requires physical exercise as a method of relaxing, so just go out there and walk or find an exercise or fitness class that suits you.

For me Pilates works because I have to think about it and that clears my mind of everything else, martial arts used to do the same thing.

To each his/her own isn't just a saying - it's true. Just stick to the healthy path of meditation and fitness though - no comments about how well a bottle of wine works for you, I'm not taking responsibility for that LOL.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

If You Don't Change 'IT' then 'IT' Won't Change

2011-01-09T05:02:00.000-08:00

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I came up with this phrase about 17 years ago when I first started working to inspire people, and to me it sums up a fundamental problem with our society and way of thinking. The fact that we are rarely brought up to take responsibility for our own lives.

It came about because I realised that people often talk in the abstract: "Things can only get better." "Things will change." "It will change". What THINGS? What is IT? All abstract, all unspecific, and all pointless affirmations.

If you've done any work with cosmic ordering or the power of intention you will know that the Universe calls for you to be specific about what you want or need whilst allowing for some flexibility in delivery.

For example, it is good to say that you want a reliable car that you really love driving and feel safe and happy in. It is not good to say that you want a specific car. Even if you've test-driven a few cars there might be one out there that you will like so much better and you don't even know about it, yet the Universe can receive your clear instruction about the type of car and guide you to the car that will fulfil all those wishes.

However, if you say to the Universe that "IT needs to change" or "THINGS need to get better" the Universe needs to wait until you tell it what exactly is wrong.

In one of my talks "Why Cosmic Ordering Doesn't Always Work" I say that I have a feeling that the Universe is sitting behind a closed door with two signs on it "I am NOT a banker; money belongs only in your world" and "When someone makes up their mind about something please knock".

Sometimes life is outside our control, a loved one is suffering in some way, a lover leaves; children empty the nest leaving only dust and memories behind. A person is challenged with ill health. When that happens all you can do is to maintain the most positive state of mind possible and use every tool in the book to help yourself or others.

However, a great deal of the time life is not outside your control. You might think that you're putting on weight and you don't know why but what do you really eat in a day and how much do you exercise, have you checked with your doctor that there isn't an underlying health issue if you really feel you're eating and exercising well?

Please note that the vast majority of famous glamour-pusses and muscle men work out every day and live on strict healthy diets. Bruno Tonioli of "Strictly" fame spends 4 1/2 hours a week in the gym and probably hasn't been seen with a donut in his hand since Moses was a baby!

(I apologise to the youthful Bruno for the age reference but the joke works.)

You might think that your so-called friends always treat you badly, but how are you contributing to that lesson and what do you intend to do about it? A non-friend is no friend and yet it's surprising how many people need that pointed out to them when it's as plain as the nose on your face.

And please, the vast number of people you skirmish with on social networking sites are not friends. No one is a 'friend' that you wouldn't recognise in the street. They are acquaintances that you are getting to know with a view to building something real between you.

(Boy I was daring there, I started not just a sentence but a paragraph with the word 'and', the literati will shoot me - LOL - but it made the point.)

I love keeping up with and getting to know the friends of friends who make up my social networking groups, I really appreciate their presence in my life and I've learned a lot, been inspired, and laughed a lot with some of them, but friendship needs to be real to succeed, it is something you put your time, your effort, your heart and your soul into. It isn't a quick status away.

Besides, true friends think like you, you're similar and you enjoy the differences that make each other unique you don't hate them! Sometimes I think the social networking sites are misleading us, or are we not following up on the 'friendships' and making them real...interesting question.

Those are only two examples of the things that can feel wrong in your life but can be easily changed if you focus on them and take determined action. If, however, you comment that your weight will "sort itself out", it won't. You're the one eating too much, not exercising and convincing yourself that you only eat calorie free donuts and chocolate, beer doesn't have a calorie in it, and walking outside to the car is sufficient for anyone to develop a six-pack.

If you let people walk on you then they will walk on you until you politely and firmly say 'no' and mean it, if they don't listen thank them for their friendship and vote with your feet. If you keep carrying on with toxic relationships whilst wailing that everyone uses you it is because YOU are staying there to be used. It's easy to blame other people for using you but difficult to admit you're the cause.

Again, these are only brief examples of a book full of human quirkiries (actually I think I'll copyright that title - "Human Quirkiries" - right now, just in case I ever get around to writing those books). You see that's my problem, someone somewhere is putting the mockers on my writing. Boy am I going to have a word with that person when I find them, which will be the next time I pluck up the courage to look in a mirror - LOL.

You're not the only one, I've learned all my lessons the personal way.

I hope this has given you some food for thought and I'm always here if you want to actually work with these ideas.

I'll leave you with something that a counsellor said to me many years ago and that is:

"Choice and responsibility go hand in hand in life, not making a choice is a choice - and you are responsible for that."

Thanks Ben

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

(and plenty of forward-thinking decision making)

Deb

The Battle Between Need and Want!

2011-01-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

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Whether you consider yourself to be a Spiritual worker or not you will be aware that other people often need your help, but you may not be aware of how much they're sucking your energy.

With some people you will feel fine after you've talked their problems through with them, but with others you will feel like you've been 12 rounds with a heavy-weight boxer - punch drunk and exhausted.

This is one of the ways you work out whether people actually want your help or need your attention.

Those who want your help will listen to your advice and act on it, you won't feel tired talking to them no matter how difficult their circumstance and how much they're struggling with life. Even if they're really down you will notice how much they want to feel better and you will see how hard they are prepared to work to get better.

Those who only need your attention are like speaking to a DVD stuck in a groove, they repeat the same thing over and over again, you give them every piece of advice you can think of, and each piece of advice you give is resisted with something like "No but..." or "there's no way" or "I'm too tired..." or "but it isn't me it's them".

Now nothing I've said here so far has surprised you, but think for a moment, how often have you been through these situations of trying to help people who only need your attention, and landed up exhausted, frustrated and hiding from your own telephone? Not so easy nowadays when it's probably on or near your person most of the time.

So although you know the difference between need and want are you really protecting yourself from the needers and spending your energy on the wanters?

Remember, don't cast your seeds on stoney ground, look for fertile soil and use your energy there.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights.

Deb

The Pulverised Cardboard Box

2010-12-28T04:47:00.000-08:00

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Those who know us will know that Tony and I are cat mad, sometimes in the true sense of the word when they drive us to distraction climbing curtains and using the armchairs as scratching posts. Incidents that usually encourage one of us to say "oh bless them", which doesn't seem to discourage them somehow.

However, there is one thing that regularly gets destroyed in our house and that is any paper carrier bag. You see Charlie loves to hide in paper bags, it floats his boat and makes him purr like a Ferrari ticking over, but Amie doesn't like Charlie to hide from her. So the moment she sees a paper bag she jumps on it and sinks her teeth into it. Not so good when Charlie is actually inside.

Within about 20 minutes Charlie is fully revealed in all his splendour and his beloved carrier bag is in a heap on the floor. We of course are reaching for a vacuum cleaner!

At Christmas I bought Tony a rather nice suitcase for his trip to New Zealand in 2011, and it came in a large cardboard box. "At last!" we thought "something Charlie can hide in and enjoy it".

I know you've already guessed. Amie saw the box, saw Charlie go inside, leapt on top and sank her little teeth into a convenient gap. She mustered her not inconsiderable strength, gave us a look that said "think again" and started ripping.

Although it is a much slower job and Charlie will get a lot more fun out of it before we have to buy each other something in a large box again, by the next morning there was a respectable amount of wreckage strewn across the lounge. By last night Tony was sticking the box back together with sticky tape! However, it's Christmas so we said "b****r the cleaning" and got on with enjoying ourselves.

There is though a moral to this story. How many of us spend our lives ripping away other people's carrier bags and cardboard boxes because we feel lonely or want attention? We just won't let them 'hide' anything of themselves from us. How many of us feel that when we go into any relationship we should grow more alike, and feel frightened and threatened at some level when our lovers and friends remain resolutely different?

Ask yourself how often you've consciously or subconsciously tried to change someone to suit you?

It probably hasn't worked, it's probably led to a number of short-lived relationships, or even long agonising ones, and at the end of the day you've had a pitched battle similar to the armies getting bogged down in the trenches during the First World War, rather than a loving and supportive relationship.

So why not give up the battle, let them have their paper carrier bag or cardboard box, and get on with liking and loving the people you chose to bring into your life - exactly as they are. Build your own inner strength so that who you are is never threatened by the unknown in anyone.

To all the dear people that I love - exactly as they are.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights (and a complete cardboard box if you want one!)

Deb

"God Cries When a Sparrow Dies"

2010-12-28T04:31:00.000-08:00

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I'm not sure that the quotation is worded correctly but that's a line from the New Testament of the Bible that has always stuck in my mind.

This blog was inspired by a lady I met on Monday 27th December who was in the invidious position that I was in, in 1999. She had lost a much loved pet followed a month later by a very close and dear relative.

In my personal experience and that I have gained from working with others who are bereaved, bereavement is hell and it takes so many different forms (sometimes in the same day) that it's very difficult to actually 'do'.

Now I've had many dear people cross to the Spirit World (I can place over 30 men there alone) and it hurts differently every single time, but the hardest thing I've ever gone through is trying to mourn a beloved father and a beloved cat in the same month.

I was so confused, I felt equally badly about losing both of them, that in turn made me feel guilty that clearly I loved animals more than humans so what kind of monster was I? It was emotionally horrific and believe me my heart goes out to anyone who suffers that particular torture, as it did to the wonderful lady that I met yesterday.

Fortunately for me I had a Spirit Guide at the time and he pointed out that the Spirit World does not measure love by body shape and design or number of legs. The Spirit World includes animals of all species amongst their number and they work to rescue and heal animals in the same way as humans. They recognise no greater worth, they only recognise love in all its forms.

Sadly I didn't have time to spend with the lady I met, and we were in a public arena so encouraging her to get her grief out onto the table and release it was inappropriate. Yet she's worried me from that moment to this. I just hope I said some helpful words.

So the point of this blog is to encourage you to do two things, firstly - just love! Secondly, allow your grief to take whatever form it takes without guilt or questions. We can always look back on the past and score it "3 out of 10 should have done better" but that's rarely true. What is true is that we did our best for the people we were at that time..

It might be that for her and for me grieving our pets was easier than facing the loss of a beloved relative, and actually we were or are grieving it all in one big messy emotional heap.

So don't feel guilty about your love for your pets, as my uncle said when I asked him what it was like to own your own animals "It's tricky when you go on holiday, but then you work so you have to plan holidays anyway, and it's sad at the end, but every day in between they will make you smile or laugh."

Never a word more truly spoken and no one needs to feel guilt for mourning a creature that brings all those smiles into their everyday life.

So don't measure grief, don't grade grief, and try not to worry how it appears. Just let it be, then you will recover from it and link back to the love you've always shared with whoever or whatever you've lost, and know that love is the link that binds us forever.

Wishing you happy days, peaceful nights, love and smiles wherever they come from

Deb

Was the Archangel Gabriel a Double Agent?

2010-12-17T07:49:00.000-08:00

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Ok you probably think I'm being flippant and taking God's right hand messenger's name in vain at Christmas of all times. I'm not, it's a serious question.

At a time when Jesus should be in the forefront of our minds and Christmas should be about peace on earth and goodwill to all men - to that I would add women and anyone else you're currently muttering about under your breath - shouldn't we be seriously thinking about that whole peace concept thingy?

Yet the very religions that are supposed to bring out the best in us have been used to allow humankind to demonstrate the worst of themselves as often as possible and with apparently reckless abandon to the point where many of us have abandoned them.

Whether that demonstration comes in the form of war, allowing others to starve, chopping down our neighbours' tree when they're not looking, cutting someone up on a roundabout, or gossiping to A about B and then B about A, we seem to have allowed the whole peace on earth thing to be something that is written on Christmas cards once a year.

Even our religions can seem to be different things created by apparently different Gods with different states of mind and attitudes towards life. Yet the presence of the Archangel Gabriel in both Christianity (or actually pre-Christianity because Jesus was in fact a Jew) and the Muslim religion can only lead us to one of two conclusions:

1. The Archangel Gabriel was a double agent working for three sides and three Gods.
OR
2. There is only one God.

Whether you're talking about mainstream religion or the Spiritual field, one thing you can be sure of is that Gabriel's name is revered within them all. Whatever name you give to that being: God, Allah, The Universe, Father/Mother God, Divine Light, or anything else you care to name, Gabriel is right there, and (S)he's right there as the messenger of...(insert your preferred name for divine presence).

So at this special time for the Christian religion, whether you embrace it's beliefs or use Christmas purely as a time to spoil your family and friends and spend time with those you love, should we not bear in mind that peace on earth isn't a concept - it's an instruction. An instruction which the presence of Gabriel reinforces precisely because (s)he was used to connect two very different types of faith, and because people in the Spiritual field feel his/her presence even now.

Gabriel is the Universal messenger to demonstrate our connection as one race of humankind and to remind us how alike we all are.

At this special Christmas time within our society I would like to wish all people of all religions and persuasions, all beliefs and philosophies, a very happy time.

In the hope that we'll remember how alike we are supposed to be.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights.

Deb

The dropped glass of wine

2010-12-15T09:54:00.000-08:00

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Hello All

This is the story of the dropped glass of wine that didn't cause a crisis.

Imagine a quiet winter evening, three people are gathered in a house chatting away about life, the universe and everything. At the same time wifey (martyr) is struggling to thread new lights onto the already decorated Christmas tree. They are all engrossed in this superhuman effort to render the household somewhat Christmassy, with the two comfortably sitting on the couch cuddling cats wearing themselves out shouting constant encouragement and suggestions.

However, wifey really started to struggle and needed urgent assistance - to whit, someone to remove the darling kitten from the other end of the Christmas lights (which were switched on). Hubby to the rescue, in one neat leap he left his comfy perch on the sofa and supermanned across the room, inadvertently taking his glass of wine with him.

As it arced gracelessly through the air spraying red wine to all corners of the household there was a deafening screech followed by the sound of wailing and cursing. Hubby was down on his hands and knees on the floor trying to suck the carpet and wifey was berating the unfair gods that their carpet should be so summarily ruined in a month when both cars had decided that an extra visit to the garage would be very nice thank you.

Into the midst of this chaos a quiet voice (we'll call it Jayne) said "do you have any ********?" (insert name of well known stain removal brand).

The screeching and berating stopped and all that could be heard in the silence was the sound of frantic carpet sucking and gentle weeping.

Fortunately it transpired that there was some of this well known brand of stain remover in the house so Jayne and wifey prised the weeping hubby off the carpet and sent him to the kitchen to locate said cleaner. Mainly because neither of the ladies has a short term memory nor do they do domestic so they wouldn't have been sure exactly what they were looking for and would probably have come back with chocolate.

Chocolate is obviously a wonderful food stuff - being based on the coffee bean which as everyone knows is a vegetable - however, it is not known for its carpet cleaning properties and sadly, unlike alcohol, you don't cease to care about your ruined carpet once the entire bar has disappeared. In fact it doubles the crisis because now you have to worry about the carpet and your waistline.

To shorten a short story that has become long, the famous stain removing brand was battered into the carpet and the stain was magically gone!

The Christmas tree was finally finished and looking glorious, the kitten had been lovingly removed from the lights rather than utilised as a fairy and was now purring happily on top of the bookcase (prior to falling off into the plant below). The humans had hot drinks and more wine and the world felt rosy again.

From this heart-warming Christmas story we can learn several things:

1. Ask your Christmas lights to fail when you test them not after you've put them on the tree.
2. It is possible to gently extract one set of lights and weave in another whilst fending off a kitten.
3. When teetering across the room like a fairy - I mean knight in shining armour- keep your hands in your pocket.
4. A kitten falling into a metal plant pot makes one heck of a noise and shortens your life by several seconds.
5. Don't panic before you check whether you have a famous brand of stain remover in the house.
6. It is useful to have an uninvolved observer on hand during a crisis. Which means...
7. Always have a Jayne - if you don't, stay calm, sort it out and pencil in the panic for sometime never!

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights.

Deb

The Widi-Beke Factor

2010-12-08T10:21:00.000-08:00

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I thought I'd mix my television shows today rather than my metaphors, and demonstrate how we can learn about life and our own actions even through television programmes. The world can deliver many good lessons if you know where to look and are aware of what you're seeing.

I'm a great fan of Strictly Come Dancing with special mention of Anton du Beke and to be honest, with great respect to Ann Widdecombe, I was cross at what happened this year.

Year after year the judges go on about it being a "dance competition", as do many of the fans, and pillory those like myself who have two left feet and no sense of balance or direction. The judges also regularly criticise the British public when they do what they have a right to do and vote for their favourites, and when the hated one goes we always hear a version of "at last, the British public have come to their senses."

Yet this year the BBC in all it's Widde-sdom decided to pair Anton with a lady who obviously finds walking a little difficult and who was considerably shorter than him. If you look at other pairings you cannot help but notice that the height difference is far more favourable.

Anton took it like the gentleman he is and did the only thing he could do which was to employ his lovely sense of humour and gallantry. Ann took it like the trooper she is and I honestly believe did her very best on all occasions. For someone terrified of heights to agree to being flown in shows her dedication to the show and to entertaining the audience. Clearly they became good friends and it has to go down as one of the most successful Strictly partnerships of all time.

However, I've also been following the commentary by fans on Facebook and I couldn't help but notice that the general commentary when Widde-Beke went out was similar to the judges - at last the Widde-Beke voters had come to their senses! This after weeks of vitriol and insults levelled at these unknown and basically unsound of mind voters. No one commenting asked why we might be voting for Ann and Anton, and yes I voted; they simply relied on insults and, as one person put it "potty mouths".

Here's why I voted. It wasn't fair to Anton, there was no way that Ann was ever going to be a dancer. As a middle aged viewer I enjoy seeing the slightly older dancers proving that age is no barrier to excellence, and I would be uncomfortable with Strictly if it didn't cover a wide range of age groups; I would lose relevance with the show. I also felt that I had a right to vote for someone that the BBC had decided was worthy of appearing on the show.

For me this entire situation, which I believe is mirrored on the X Factor at the moment, shows us how much we judge others without ever asking them what their thinking was, even over things as relatively unimportant as a dance and a singing competition.

We judge, we condemn, we now do it publicly on social networking sites, yet we don't use that little three letter word that can bring so much love and respect with it - why.

For me, and I know for others, the Strictly vote was a deliberate decision made in sound mind to call the BBC out and show them that if they wanted to mess about with our Anton then his fans would mess about with their dance competition. I feel that we had a right to do that without being insulted.

So the next time you find someone annoying you, instead of condemning them, speaking to everyone but them, and treating them to a demonstration of your brilliant but perhaps cruel sense of humour, why not just ask them why. And if you don't like what they say, withdraw quietly leaving no damage behind you.

As a friend of mine has just said, she wonders if people see unimportant things as just that - unimportant - therefore their words and actions don't count. However, that unimportant thing might be very important to someone else for a reason you don't know. So just remember, what doesn't matter to you might matter very much to someone else.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Nativity not Negativity

2010-12-06T09:36:00.000-08:00

Today I read the most fabulous blog by a man named Tom Evans - you can find it here http://goo.gl/5CGD9. It was about literature and negativity, and it echoed so many ideas that I've been mulling over recently, and maybe not so recently. In fact I need to go back to the 1980's to explain the start of it.

I know it was the 1980's because I was living my former life when I saw the television programme. It was Panorama and they were talking about attitudes to health in the USA, saying that they could buy drugs over the counter that were only available on prescription here. More than that, the Americans were obsessed by their health and diet in a way that the programme makers considered to be unhealthy. They said that it would happen here and quite frankly I laughed. I was wrong.

For a long time I've been concerned about the sheer overwhelming weight of negativity that is thrust upon us each day and from every imaginable angle. We have fear about our food and whether we know what's in it, our health, our fitness, our lifestyles, our telephones, our computers, foreigners, shall I go on? I don't think so, you've got the picture and you know the list could be far longer.

Like most people on a Spiritual path I'm choosy about reading newspapers and how much of the news I watch. It can be quite hard to keep up with current events if you want to avoid negativity, but it can be done if you choose your publications.

I don't read women's magazines very often because negativity creeps in amongst the eyeliner and lip gloss. You can barely read a magazine without seeing something about health and body shape, and so on.

Friends have noted that I'm more aware of these negative messages than others, but I feel lucky to be so because I can combat the negativity with positive thinking, whereas other people may not even be aware of how much they are being drip fed over the loudspeakers in supermarkets, in the media, and in other places that you might not expect it.

I am though quite typical of people on a Spiritual path who find throughout their journey that their tolerance for the negative gradually diminishes and they wish to embrace positivity, joy and happiness as much as is humanly possible in this screwed up (but wonderful) world of ours.

The posting I mentioned above crystallised for me the latest area that's began to impact on my consciousness - novels. I have a number of fantastic writers whose work I thoroughly enjoy, and their new novels always jump off the shelf straight into my basket the instant their published. Yet lately I've found that I'm enjoying these books less and less, because they're normally about murder, mayhem, lying, cheating and stealing. In other words thrillers! Not so very thrilling though.

The writers are brilliant but the subject matter tells us that the world cannot be trusted, evil is always out there, and even if you're the hero of the novel it's all coming back to bite you again in the next book.

After reading that awesome blog this morning it convinced me to take action and remove an entire area of negativity from my life by changing my reading habits next year. There are so many wonderfully humorous books out there, so many non-fiction books that inform and inspire, that I don't need to stick with the same old same old anymore, and I'm not going to.

For me after the Nativity I'm going to bring in another positive step in my life campaign for positivity and peace of mind.

What will you change next year that will help you to live a happier life?

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights.

Deb

World Peace - the Biggest Uphill Battle of All Time

2010-12-06T09:20:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week I couldn't think of a single thing to blog about, and then today two subjects inspired me to put digit to keyboard. The first was protecting yourself, and the second is...well...protecting the world.

I've noticed a lot of discussion about Iran lately, and as a person who does try to do her bit for world peace I have to say that the tone of that talk is concerning me. There seems to be a movement being created to put fear into the hearts of western shoppers that reminds me very much of the same thing that happened first with Iraq and then with Afghanistan.

I'm not commenting here on the rightness or otherwise of entering into either of those wars, I don't know enough about the whys and wherefores of the decision making to make an informed comment. It's just that I saw pre-fear being whipped up on both those occasions and it's happening again now.

I'm also not going to go into the nitty-gritty of what's happening at the moment and where it might lead. Trying to work out what our individual and collective governments are thinking and up to is as much beyond me as anyone else in the world - because they don't tell us the truth.

What scares me is that people are talking fighting talk and other people are passing on that fighting talk without thinking about what they're doing.

I'm an historian by training and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a lot going on of which the truth will never be known, because records will be lost and amended to make certain countries and individuals seem to be a lot more innocent and/or righteous than they were.

What I do know is that to continue to spread fear before we know for certain that there is a need to fear, is only creating the very fear that is required to bring about yet another call to arms that could cost countless numbers of lives.

So I'm begging you, don't be afraid until we at least have some evidence that there is a need to be afraid (hopefully better than the evidence pointing to weapons of mass destruction in Iraq).

Don't think that the majority of the Iranian people are doing anything other than living their lives in their own way and hoping that they won't be nuked in their sleep. If you look at history they have at least as much reason, if not more, to fear the west than we do them.

There are fundamentalists out there who we all need to be afraid of and they exist in all cultures and religions. Do we honestly believe that when Christian, British and other fundamentalists spit their vitriol out to the world other nations don't quake in their boots? Of course they do, and of course their fundamentalists scare us.

Just please, please think before you pass on any negative messages. The more we can be positive, the more that we can feel love and spread love, the quicker we will get a start on making this world a safe place. Goodness knows it's going to take long enough, so let's get started now.

Wishing everyone, everywhere, happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

That's Why They Call it a Private Life

2010-12-05T10:24:00.000-08:00

I love social networking, I have some good friends scattered all over the world and we use social networking in a meaningful way to keep up with each other and make sure that everyone is safe and happy. I also enjoy making new 'virtual' friends and finding out who they are and what they're up to, but I have to say that I don't feel comfortable with the people who request friendship and then use it to try and ram their private life down my throat.

Most people feel comfortable with keeping their private life behind closed doors and revealing to people who don't need to be involved in it only the public side of themselves. There is a healthy reason for this, total revelation gives every person you meet too much information, it also pre-empts their opinion of you and, to a certain extent, labels and pigeon holes you forever.

Whereas if you meet each new person that comes into your life with a clean slate on both sides, you will not only have the fun of getting to know each other but you will also allow yourself to be changed by the experience. Even negative experiences with people will teach you something about yourself and allow you to use the negative lesson as fuel for a more positive future.

I came to a point in my life where I refused to discuss the past, go into what happened within my first marriage, complain about my childhood (unless an old family pattern rears it's ugly head again and reminds me), or talk about how I felt from the ages of 15 to 35.

I took that decision because I realised that every time I told a new person about my past they were judging me in light of that past, and quite often new people would throw old accusations at me that had no basis of fact in the present because I had told them that it had once been a good way to hurt me. I know of other friends who have taken similar decisions for similar reasons.

So before you reveal everything about you on a social networking site, or even your quirky side, think carefully if you want to always remain that person or you want to grow and develop as life takes you, shapes you and moulds you.

I for one wouldn't want to be known for only one aspect of my personality or as the person of my past, nor would I wish to close the door to improvement and ever increasing happiness.

As to my private life my lips are sealed by my latest sparkling lip gloss LOL.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: What Kind of Day Have You Had Today?

2010-11-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

Deb Hawken - Dancing Star: What Kind of Day Have You Had Today?: "Hi...I was wondering what kind of day you'd been having? Good or bad, boring or exciting, happy or sad, engaged or indifferent? What's goi..."

What Kind of Day Have You Had Today?

2010-11-26T10:09:00.000-08:00

Hi...I was wondering what kind of day you'd been having? Good or bad, boring or exciting, happy or sad, engaged or indifferent? What's going on with you? Have you any idea?

We often fall out of bed in the morning in a stupor, snuffle our way into the shower, spray deodorant in the vague direction of our armpits and all over the cat, wave at our eyelashes with mascara, and then drift off to work in a fog of indifference.

Yet take away the job we dread, or give us a good dose of the flu that makes us remember a) to clean the loo more often and b) that feeling well enough to go to work is actually a good thing, and life takes on a different complexion. Until we get jaded again and forget all the positive stuff.

You've probably heard the term 'living mindfully' and are aware that it suggests that you take conscious control of your life, but I would add in another - perhaps simpler - term. Living outwardly.

Many people live their lives wrapped up in their own thoughts, allowing those thoughts to bounce around randomly and not always bring about the most positive mental attitude available. Give a person something new and they'll extrapolate that out to include all the things that could go wrong and terrify themselves thirty seconds after the initial contact with the newness.

Yet if you live outward, taking notice more of the information entering through your eyes and ears you will often find opportunities where you least expected them. In discovering those opportunities in real time you will also be more ready to take advantage of them. You will also stop living only in your own thoughts, which can be limited.

Let's face it, you can't think about the new exciting thing that you don't know about. You can only dwell on the same old same old, or a fantasy future that you can't imagine being able to create.

If instead you keep your eyes and ears open, your thought volume turned down to 'ticking over' and your mind on what is before you at this moment, you will encounter the first steps that you can cope with rather than living in an imagination that can be as unrealistic as it is frightening.

Life can appear to be like a chasm sometimes, you are here and on the other side of a great gap is what you dream of. You find yourself mentally trying to build bridges or flying machines to get over that gap, yet if you live life in the now and take the opportunities that arise when they arise you will discover three things:

There are no gaps in life only gaps in knowledge.
What you aren't ready for won't be revealed to you, and nor will the 'how' of achieving it.
Your future might be far more golden and exciting than you can possibly imagine.

Don't miss it by missing the moment!

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

The more things stay the same

2010-11-22T10:05:00.000-08:00

How often have you champed at the bit, waiting for something to change and improve your life? Something you've dreamed about or hoped for and it just doesn't seem to want to come to fruition?

I used to be like that, I used to try to push the river of life faster than it's natural speed of flow. I used to worry that I'd never achieve anything, never make anything of my life. Then life changed, I didn't do anything to make it change the timing was right and the changes came in, it was as simple as that.

It started with Mediumship ability just switching on in me at the age of 34. I had never suspected that I was a Medium and never sought to become one; I didn't even follow Mediums and go to churches and demonstrations of Mediumship. Yet the ability switched on like a light and there it was, but that was the starting point.

I didn't know what to do with this new ability so I practised on friends and friends of friends, and basically got on with ordinary life. I went to university to do two degrees, I worked, I looked after the home (in a fashion) and the cats (really well), and I shopped and ate chocolate.

However, whenever the time has been right and without me thinking about it something new has come in out of left field, most unexpectedly, and I've always tried to just go with it.

I believe this is down to two things, firstly that my Akashic Records say that I will do this thing at this time, and secondly because I'm not afraid to dream and keep dreaming. As anyone into cosmic ordering will tell you, as you dream so shall you manifest.

The latest change started on Friday and reached boiling point today, I am thrilled beyond belief but I wondered why it had come in now. Then I turned around and looked at the vision board I did in June, and there it was, I'd put it on the vision board 5 months ago.

So, do yourself a vision board, don't limit yourself to what you believe you can do instead put on it what you want to do. Keep dreaming and hold onto those dreams, see them in great detail and make them real.

In doing so you will subconsciously take the steps to realise the dreams, even though you may not realise that the step you're taking will bring in the dream, you'll take it anyway.

Oh, and go out, meet people and take new opportunities. If you're not out there willing to meet new people, grow as a person, be different and adventurous it will be hard for the Spirit World to ring in the new.

Things will only stay the same if you stay the same.

Wishing you happy days and peaceful nights

Deb

Negativity - and all the places it hides!

2010-11-10T06:21:00.000-08:00

I've been following the comments on a certain popular social networking site recently and to be honest I'm appalled at the level of negativity in peoples' comments and the amount of arguments that are developing because people don't agree with each others' viewpoints.

I have to be honest, it's beginning to be a little boring and depressing even checking out the latest thoughts.

I don't want to add yet another negative, but all grown adults know that life can be challenging and there is no need to create more upset and unhappiness, nor burden others with your personal negativity.

We are all aware how much information there is out there on how important positive thinking is in creating a better life, which means we really have no excuse for promoting a negative life view; especially those who work in the Spiritual field.

We know that negativity is damaging. We know that "your life is what your thoughts make it". For goodness sake Marcus Aurelius said that in the 1st Century AD, what excuse do we have for not having caught on by now?

How about we expand on that? "Other peoples' lives are affected by your thoughts" ME.

What you teach others, what you say to and about others, what you teach your children, all has a significant effect on how they live their lives, and maybe even on peoples' health.

So please, please, I implore you, try to be a positive force in this world. I know how hard it is when life has dealt you a blow, but a wonderful friend of mine always puts a positive post on a day like that and then tries to live up to it! Give it a go if you can.

Lastly, don't fear the opinions of others, this is a very big world and there is plenty of room for all the beliefs and outlooks that we can create, and more. Most importantly, if others are aggressive towards you it is likely that your thoughts or plans are in some way frightening them.

As it says in "Conversations with God" by Neil Donald Walsh, there are only two emotions, love and fear, and all other emotions come from there.

In a positive and happy frame of mind.

Deb

Christmas Blues

2010-11-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

Sadly I noted today that some people are truly dreading Christmas this year, some because of the current financial climate and some because they are always the ones who create the Happy Christmas that everyone else enjoys whilst they are melting in the kitchen mopping their fevered brow with a dishcloth.

Most of the people dreading the financial impact of Christmas are worried about being unable to give their children nice Christmas presents, something that all parents want to do because children are too young to know that they shouldn't prize presents over people. All they know is that Santa is coming and he should have presents with him, just like he has for their friends.

They are too young to rationalise and parents cannot provide, it's a very hurtful situation for loving parents who know that possessions aren't the be-all and end-all, but also know that Santa should be able to deliver a Christmas morning full of joy and excitement. Most kids will land up focusing on one favourite gift or playing with the boxes, they're not monetary - they don't know what that means - they're after the experience of being a child, believing in Santa and loving Christmas.

I don't know how those parents are going to explain to their kids, and my heart goes out to them. Especially if they're going to be forced to take children from the innocent joy of childhood where money doesn't equate and forcibly quantum leap them to a place of worry and responsibility. Where their much longed for doll or truck stops being a fun toy that helps to develop creativity and dreams and instead becomes a 'thing', a 'possession' - something that people who don't love enough want.

How can you explain financial burdens without breaking little hearts or catapulting them into adulthood and worry? You certainly can't say "if I was dead you'd miss me more than the presents". You can't tell them why people are so much more important than stuff.

I don't know if it helps, but my parents used to help me make a list and then tell me to pick my favourites, they also set a budget for me. That way I was expecting a favourite gift but also not expecting too much. That seems to have worked. We also used to go to the local childrens' home before Christmas and give some of last years' toys away, which taught me (without a lecture) that there were people a lot worse off than me. Perhaps the local charity shop will suffice if you don't live near a childrens' home.

As to the overburdened mums and grandmas. If you don't teach your family to share then you create a burden for the next generation. So why don't you say that although you will host Christmas you will need help. Someone should bring the starters already made and ready to heat,and someone else should bring the desert ready to go in the oven.

If you have a big family you have loads of people to bring the other goodies like chocolate, cake, mince pies, chocolate, sausage rolls and of course chocolate (or have I already mentioned that?).

The children can come and decorate the tree and throw tinsel all round the house, they'll love that! And you can always put the tree right later (and take the tinsel off the dog).

People love to share, and they love to be useful, and sharing and being useful gives people a sense of self worth. If you insist on doing everything then they will never know how it feels to be rewarded with smiles after a job well done. They won't know how it feels to know that mum has had a better day because they contributed. They won't see your sigh of relief when they deliver their starter or pud to the table, and they won't receive the thanks that will make them feel appreciated. What they will do is see the future - and fear it!

So instead of knocking yourself sideways because you love them, allow them to share with you in the wonderfully loving and sharing experience that Christmas can be, and when you feel tired remember all the people who would love to be part of a big, manic, busy, loving Christmas just like yours.

Wishing you a happy festive season and far less stress and worry leading up to it.

Happy days and Blissful Nights

Deb (Dancing Star) Hawken
"One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star" Nietzsche

Looking forward to the weekend

2010-11-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

Everyone who works looks forward to the weekend, spending time with loved ones, not having to get up at silly o'clock to go to work or the battle with traffic or public transport. Obviously this is a very sensible attitude, except that weekends represent only 2 days a week and work takes up an enormous 5 days!

If you enjoy your work, as I do, then you're very lucky if not blessed, but if you don't enjoy your job then you are unhappy for way too much of the time. Unfortunately it's only too easy to pursue a path at 18 that really doesn't suit you by the time you're 30 and drives you to distraction at 40. Then you feel trapped because you can't afford to become the novice again and drop to the pitiful wages of the apprentice in a new career, not that anyone would have you because you're far too old to begin again! What can you do though, you have to work?

Ok, that's the negativity out of the way, now let's look at the potential positives of life.

Just because you have to work it doesn't mean that you cannot do work that you love. You may no longer love your chosen career but you can find a company where you make so many good friends the actual work loses it's negative impact.
You can start a hobby such as painting or crafts that you can sell at the weekend, using the money to build up a nest-egg that will allow you to change your life. Yes it might take a few years to get your finances into position but if you start next year it will take a year longer.
If you're young enough and don't have many financial commitments then change your career as soon as possible before you're trapped by mortgages, bills and responsibilities.

However, sometimes changing your job just isn't possible, but there are still options:

Firstly, learn about cosmic ordering and then order up the life you want and don't worry about how it will happen. The Universe works in mysterious ways and it doesn't require money to make things happen, it just needs to know what you truly and positively want.
Walk the Spiritual path. Spiritual thinking changed my life and it can change yours. Your life really is created by your thoughts and if you change the way you think about and approach life you will soon start to notice a real difference.

If you think this is just chat let me tell you a little story. In 1994 I was discussing opening a Spiritual Centre with friends. In my mind's eye I could see a large manor house where people of all persuasions could come for a relaxing visit and find out about the Spiritual field while they were there. Nothing happened because it all sounded a bit far-fetched and none of us could conceive of having the money to buy such a centre.

Over the years I started to develop my work anyway and things chugged along nicely, until one day a friend of mine found us an opportunity at Warner's Cricket St. Thomas Hotel in Somerset. As I was driving down the drive for my first ever visit I saw the Spiritual Centre of my vision. It is a place where people of all persuasions come to visit, and many of them come to find out about my work just because I'm there. No I don't own it, but that really doesn't matter.

So...do not limit the Universe with negative thinking. Work out what you want, do a vision board, and then get out there and do something positive.

Wishing you happy days and blissful nights

Deb

Spiritual Breakthroughs

2010-11-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

Many years ago someone gave me a book of inspirational sayings called "Dancing Star" and in there was the saying by Nietzsche that you will find all over my website, leaflets and business cards:

"One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star."

The saying resonated deeply with me because I arrived on the Spiritual path as a result of what you might call a tricky youth and a slightly painful (masterful understatement here) marriage. I arrived on it in a state of despair - not to go into details that should remain in the past - and definitely in a state of chaos. Since that day so many years ago, I have felt better and better because of my Spiritual knowledge gathering.

Sometimes now when people come to me for help or a Reading, or to study at one of my workshops, they comment on the knowledge I have, and I always tell them that it's knowledge gained through two things, the school of hard knocks and a willingness to learn from life.

As you will see in an article called "Karma Balance" which will be appearing in Silent Voices magazine in the new year (www.silentvoices.org.uk), I believe that people bring us lessons everyday and we have two choices, either to understand that people's behaviour towards us is a lesson and learn it, or to believe that we're being hard done by and complain.

If you take the second option you will spend the majority of your life feeling hurt and bewildered, whereas if you take the first option you will have breakthrough after breakthrough almost every day of your life. Which means that every day life in general will get a little easier to deal with, and you might actually start silently thanking those people for bringing the lesson to you to learn.

So the message is, wake up, be aware, LIVE your life don't cruise through it, learn your lessons and allow them to make your world a sunnier place to inhabit.

Deb

(With special thanks to Sharon Barr of Silent Voices who reminded me that I need to DO SOMETHING with my BLOG)

Working in your bliss

2010-10-14T10:54:00.000-07:00

When we leave school we either go on to college or university to study something that interests us at that time, or we fall into the nearest thing that will allow us to buy clothes and have a Saturday night out. The problem is that those two options are rarely satisfying in the long-term.

It is true that some people do know themselves at a very young age, and some do remain similar people throughout their lives so that their initial choice always suits them. However, the vast majority of people make choices in their teens and early twenties that fail to last the distance, and land up bored and disappointed with "life, the universe and everything".

What can you do though when you're stuck with the choice? Or are you? Let's look at some options:

Option 1: Change your career. That's fine if it's something you're able to do either with a side-step or by taking your current training and abilities and applying it to a different field or a different role. Not always possible though. Sometimes it would require a salary sacrifice that you can't afford to make, or you're too bespoke in your abilities and they aren't transportable, or the options just aren't available in the area in which you live.

So...

Option 2: Take up further training. This could be done through work, in your spare time, as a correspondence course, or during the weekends. You could train in something that will enhance your opportunities in your current role, or something completely different that will re-launch your career along more interesting and hopefully lucrative lines.

Option 3: Take up a hobby. Sometimes you can't change your career for good reasons, perhaps because you have your entire future invested in staying right where you are, but you can create a life around that job that is fun and fulfilling thereby diminishing the importance of that job thereby reducing it to the vehicle that creates the fun. Supposing for example you take up art, you discover that you are a brilliant artist, you paint some paintings, have a show, sell your work and so on. One day you could own an art gallery! All arising from a happy hobby intended to take your mind off work.

Option 4: Change your attitude. If you insist on treating work only as a necessity two things will happen. Firstly you'll accept misery at work as part of that necessity. Secondly you won't 'own' your work, accept it as a real part of your life guided by your own choices, and therefore feel able to embrace what you do and change it if you don't like it. Allowing your job to drift and you along with it is refusing to make a choice, which is of course a choice and a bad one. Getting hold of your career and accepting that it's yours, a vital part of your life for many reasons not an optional nuisance, creates great power for change. Sometimes all you need to do is to decide to feel better right where you are, and better options open up almost like magic! After all, your boss will promote a smiling, positive, 'can do', happy to be here employee over a misery any day.

Whatever you do, do something. A job is almost always a life necessity - or most people wouldn't work at all. So accept that you have to work and then go out and seek whatever it is that will ensure that you never work a day in your life. As Confucius said "choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life".

I do love my work, my work is my life is my passion is me. I'm not lucky, I had a career I hated and I worked and made sacrifices to change it. I'm not a hero either, I'm just someone who doesn't like to be unhappy. Nor should you.

Embrace joy

Deb x